HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I AM TAKING PLEASURE IN YOUR PAIN! WE ARE LAUGHING!!!

So with the revelation of the secret CIA prisons by the Washington Post the Republicans got serious about the leaking of information, not in an effort to show that NOW they're serious about leaks after having Ashcroft brush the Plame investigation under the rug until the CIA demanded a special counsel. No, they blustered on this one under the assumption the a Democrat did it. If only Blustering could fuel SUV's. COuld I get a Rightousness-fueled Prius. $200 Billion could create that don't you think? Read this, then read the punchline.

November 8, 2005

Honorable Peter Hoekstra
Chairman
Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence
United States House of Representatives
Washington, D.C. 20515

Honorable Pat Roberts
Chairman
Select Committee on Intelligence
United States Senate
Washington, D.C. 20515

Dear Chairman Hoekstra and Chairman Roberts:

We request that you immediately initiate a joint investigation into the possible release of classified information to the media alleging that the United States government may be detaining and interrogating terrorists at undisclosed locations abroad. As you know, if accurate, such an egregious disclosure could have long-term and far-reaching damaging and dangerous consequences, and will imperil our efforts to protect the American people and our homeland from terrorist attacks.

The purpose of your investigation will be to determine the following: was the information provided to the media classified and accurate?; who leaked this information and under what authority?; and, what is the actual and potential damage done to the national security of the United States and our partners in the Global War on Terror? We will consider other changes to this mandate based on your recommendations.

Any information that you obtain on this matter that may implicate possible violations of law should be referred to the Department of Justice for appropriate action.

We expect that you will move expeditiously to complete this inquiry and that you will provide us with periodic updates. We are hopeful that you will be able to accomplish this task in a bipartisan manner given general agreement that intelligence matters should not be politicized. Either way, however, your inquiry shall proceed.

The leaking of classified information by employees of the United States government appears to have increased in recent years, establishing a dangerous trend that, if not addressed swiftly and firmly, likely will worsen. The unauthorized release of classified information is serious and threatens our nation's security. It also puts the lives of many Americans and the security of our nation at risk.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

William H. Frist, M.D.

Majority Leader

U.S. Senate

J. Dennis Hastert
Speaker
U.S. House of Representatives

And then...

CNN's Ed Henry: "Trent Lott stunned reporters by declaring that this subject was actualy discussed at a Senate Republican luncheon, Republican senators only, last tuesday the day before the story ran in the Washington Post. Lott noted that Vice President Cheney was also in the room for that discussion and Lott said point blank "a lot of it came out of that room last tuesday, pointing to the room where the lunch was held in the capitol." He added of senators "we can't keep our mouths shut." He added about the vice president, "He was up here last wek and talked up here in that room right there in a roomful of nothing but senators and every word that was said in there went right to the newspaper." He said he believes when all is said and done it may wind up as an ethics investigation of a Republican senator, maybe a Republican staffer as well. Senator Frist's office not commenting on this development. The Washington Post not commenting either."

"WE ARE LAUGHING!!! And it's continuing, and then slowing down a little, but there's still a good spirit. It's getting less. There's a little chuckle... and it's done."

"You really wreck moments when you do that, Ron."

Always an exciting day

When you're a live-action superhero nut like I am there's an anticipation for the first release of any photo's of the people you know an love in the 2D world of comics or cartoons as real live people. The best feeling when finally seeing these movies is the feeling that you are seeing that person brought to life. The very first shot of Wolverine fighting in the cage in X-Men 1 was an amazing moment because all I could say is "That's fucking Wolverine." When I saw the Hulk, that was the fucking Hulk. So 6 months ago the revealed that Thomas Haden Church had been cast in Spider-Man 3, but who would he play. The rumor became pretty solid that he would be playing Sandman.



And now, finally, we get to see him in our world. I love this moment. Always an exciting day. Ladies and Gentlemen I bring you a living and breathing Sandman who walks in the same world as you or I.



I know it's just a guy in a green shirt. But for me this is very exciting.

Shane Black needs your help!!

Okay, I just read this plea for audience for Kiss Kiss Bang Bang on Aint It Cool News. I'm a HUGE Shane Black fan, you know Shane Black, the writer who in 1987 made headlines for getting paid a Million Bucks for his script for Lethal Weapon, which is one of the better movies ever - "We got him because I shot him in the leg, I didn't fill him full of holes and try to jump off a building with him." "Hey that's no fair, the building guy lived." He followed that up with the even more brilliant The Last Boyscout - "You're nobody." "Shh, don't tell anyone.", and followed that up with the poorly produced, but brilliantly written Long Kiss Goodnight - "I would've been here earlier but I had to think up that Ham on Rye line." And Shane Black is even more well known for a small cameo role in Predator "So I said to my wife 'Geez you got a big pussy, Geez you got a big pussy', she said why did you say that twice, I said I didn't."

I've been waiting for his next project for nine years, and now it's out, it's called Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and it's also directed by him. I've been busy, but very excited to see it, and now it's dying on the vine, so I'm going to see it this weekend and if anybody out there is up for a good action comedy this weekend, give Shane Black his props, I'd like to see his directing career continue. And if it's not your style, buy a ticket anyway and then walk into Saw II, they never check to make sure you went to the right movie anyway.

Watch out now...

The Complete, and I mean, COMPLETE films of Werner Herzog

Okay, landed from L.A., got up bright and early the next morning to teach a terrific class to our terrific students, took a martial arts class and now I’m over at Chris Sienko’s for the Stiff-Legged film festival III: The Complete, and I mean, COMPLETE films of Werner Herzog. The stiff-lgged fests are great events. I hate to miss a second of them. Festival One showed every single Robert Altman film from first to most-recent in chronological order from 7pm Friday night to 11pm Sunday night for three weekends with only 8 hours off at a time. EVERY SINGLE FILM. Familiar with Altman because you’ve seen The Player? Try Countdown, try Quintet, try A Cold Day in The Park, Images, H.E.A.L.T.H. or Three Women? Festival Two showed every single Cassavetes film including Too Late Blues and Big Trouble.

I come in late on the second day having missed: SHORTS I, SIGNS OF LIFE, SHORTS II, EVEN DWARFS STARTED SMALL, LAND OF SILENCE & DARKNESS, FATE MORGANA, AGUIRRE: THE WRATH OF GOD, and The ECSTACY OF WOODCARVER STEINER.

I had already seen AGUIRRE and consider to be one of the most powerful films of all time. The last five minutes in which the scariest man on earth, Klaus Kinski, gives the scariest speech ever, blew me out of the theatre when I was in my German Film class at Miami. At the key moment in the speech when he says “I am Aguirre: The Wrath of God.” He looks right into the camera, easily the most powerful moment I’ve ever seen in a movie.

5:30 – The last 15 minutes of THE ENIGMA OF KASPAR HAUSER

Well he certainly is an Enigma to me, I’ll have to watch the whole movie. Chris says this is the breakout hit of the festival, that’s saying a lot. That means this is the Nashville of this festival.

5:45 – NOBODY WANTS TO PLAY WITH ME

A short film in German with Italian subtitles. From what I gether nobody wants to play with this one kid, and then he and a girl take a walk and then the kids do want to play with him. Only from the completist obsession of Chris Sienko.

6:00 - HOW MUCH WOOD COULD A WOODCHUCK CHUCK
A documentary on auction barkers in America. Summary: They talk really fast.

It’s interesting that this focus on the Amish and Cattle Auctions was made a by a total German. Herzog’s obsession with the America Midwest is fascinating in the way that Wenders obsession with it is. It’s SO foreign to them that they notice so much that we take for granted. This completely reminds me of Errol Morris’ Gates of Heaven and Vernon, FL by focusing on such and obscure subgroup of American culture and it’s own insulated dramas. When I found out that Werner Herzog eats his shoe (in which for twenty minutes Werner Herzog does literarally that) was a bet he lost with Errol Morris; I always thought it was odd that Errol Morris and Herzog were friends. The guy who made Thin Blue Line and the guy who made Aguirre, what could they have to talk about? Now having seen this doc, it all makes sense.

7:00 - HEART OF GLASS



This movie beings with a gorgeous montage of environment, very patient, then it slowly brings in the characters, but treats them as a part of the scenery by going from silent person scene to silent person scene, some of them with hilarious results. The two men staring each other at the bar is hilarious. The comic timing of these droll and ironic German New Wave films is brilliant. So patient.

Amazing. These are like movies from another planet. Such weird, dour, straight-faced humor. This village of glass blowers has lost a villager, her was th only one who knew how to blow Ruby glass and did not leave the recipe behind. So far the film has been a succession of very quiet images that last forever. He’s said he wanted to lull the watcher to prepare them for a slow film, but all of the German New Wave lulls their watchers like this, and not just in the beginning, but throughout. Is the opening of Heart of Glass any different than the ending to Aguirre or taking the ship up the hill in Fitzarraldo or the travel on the ski lift in Stroszek, or the opening sequence of Fassbinders Beware A Holy Whore? That’s what’s great about the German New Wave, that patience.

2nd montage of scenery. GORGEOUS!!!!! Just fucking gorgeous. The still imagery just continutes and continues. Okay I take back my earlier statements a little, he clearly is lulling us.

Now as the town becomes increasingly desperate, they are discussin the comparison of the blood red glass to the lifeblood of this town. Nice symbolism beee-yotch.

Glass blowing is fascinating and beautiful, his attention to exploring the subject is very interesting coming right off of a documentary on Auction Callers. Nowe we’re into and other fascinating analysis of another profession. The echniques and the playing with the molten glass, and blowing glass. Wow.Slowly by slowly this man just twisted and torned and clipped and prodded and tuned and prodded and turned and twisted and clipped this piece of glass and hypnotically a glass horse was produced. Wow.

This film needs to go fuck itself. Too good. The sequence of all the people in the vast room making insane noises and uncomfortable laughts and then the scene in the bar with the man playing the hurdy gurdy while and man sits and stares in the middle of the bar. An atmosphere unlike any film. Then again I could say the same of almost any Herzog film.

Well that film just simply ended. Wow. I don’t care. Nothing happened and I don’t care. I think I just summed up the entire German New Wave.

9:00 – LA SOUFRIRE

A documentary, Werner travels to an island about to be destroyed by a volcano and makes a tone poem on the last days of this empty and evacuated town. Werner once again (Aguirre, Fitzcarraldo) subjects his film crew to certain death, what a dick.

9:45 – STROSZEK



I first saw this on my Senior year of College, pushed on me by the brilliant tastes of Andy Marko who monitored my Senior Project. The Mass Comm crew at Miami was astoundingly eclectic and brilliant and turned me onto many great films.

WE ARE LAUGHING! Stroszek is getting out of prison and one of the other prisoners has a going away gift for him, he lights a fart for him, such a hilarious non-sequitor that’s handled with complete casualness. So odd.

In Stroszek, the brilliantly deadpan innocent Bruno S. plays Bruno Stroszek who meets a prostitute and travels with her from Germany to Wisconsin where Herzog’s camera becomes fascinated with the depressing Midwest.

Bruno S., the actor, was a street musician with a very difficult past of abuse and birth to a prostitute mother that Herzog discovered and put him him in THE ENIGMA OF KASPAR HAUSER. Such an innocent Andy Kaufman face. Consistent with the tone of Herzog, Bruno S. is a perfect deadpan actor for Herzog.

SPOILER ALERT

In the most depressing ending ever. Stroszek, having moved to Wisconsin, he has his trailer repossessed, his girl moves to Vancouver with a bunch of truckers she blew for money, his father is arrested for robbing a barber, and Stroszek takes a giant frozen turkey and shotgun on a ski lift and kills himself. This is followed by a full two minutes of a tapdancing chicken to harmonica and some blues howler in one of the craziest and most memorable endings ever.

Immediately after, Chris replayed the lit fart scene with A-B repeat selected on his DVD player, playing the scene over and over and over. I haven’t laughed that hard in a while.

It’s not that the guy lights his fart, it’s that is such a random moment. He says “I have a surprise for you before you leave”, lights a fart and then hugs Stroszek goodbye.



Too tired to blog, so I'll sum up.

NOSFERATU: Four words: Klaus Kinski as Dracula.

WOYCZEK: I forget, so late. The opening is great though.

Distinctive

Shit, Johnny Knoxville just walked by. Finally a celebrity sighting I can buy into. Evidently Eva Longoria was sitting next to us in the diner yesterday, but I don't know what an Eva Longoria is, but Knoxville, I know a Knoxville when I see one. The diner in the hotel is a pretty hip place, very celebrity laden. Rumor has it William Macy eats here every Sunday with his kids, Sofia Coppola holds a lot of meetings here and Kate just came back from the bathroom to say that Buster from Arrested Development is currently in the diner.



Fun. Random choice of place to stay and it turns out the be the hip hovel.

Speaking of celebrity sightings. The Schadenfreude show was the nexus of everyone who's anyone or perhaps it was anyone who's everyone. TV's Ike Bainholtz, TV's Josh Meyers, TV's Gillian Vigman, TV's Jill Benjamin were in the house as was Bart Kias' House's Bart Kias. Steve and Erik from Broken Lizard came out and couldn't have been nicer, they're working on a new movie called Beerfest and were enjoying hitting a show in the calm before the storm of production. All in all very good night in the very hip and Chicago-esque Las Filas. We've marveled at how non-L.A. this area of Las Filas feels with a bunch of Wicker Parky and Bucktowney bars. Every single person here has told us "don't get spoiled, this is an anomaly."

The showcase went well, but just a great night with great firends beyond that. I think for the first time in our non-careers we just didn't care, we cared about getting laughs, but that's all we cared about. I know it's overstated that you should "just have fun" during high pressure shows, but for the first time ever we literally did that, we just had fun, and it was, and we made our friends laugh, and that became our only mission. We were the first act, we came out for our first bit, an old sketch that pits a Hipster vs. A Meathead as they vie to be the first to claim the new neighborhood bar for their own, and as the first joke hit we could see the front row filled with all our L.A. friends. Ike, Gillian, Josh, and Jill Benjamin. They all have very distincitve laughs and as they started laughing it was our only mission to keep THOSE laughs coming. Hearing Ike & Gillian laugh is it's own drug.

Best joke of the night:
Justin: I.D. please.
Kate: How long's this bar been here?
Justin: About 15 minutes.
Kate: What's this place called?
Justin: "Place." We were going to call it "New Orleans Superdome Gang Rape"...but you just can't call a club that anymore.

Well the hard part's over, now we just need to wrangle any meetings we can while we're here and then track down our buddies for another drink tonight and missions will have been accomplished.

Props out to Ray Delphinas for enjoying being a Short-Haired chick of the week fan!

And here's our David Lynch hotel.



Seems like a good enough place to get hooked on heroin.

Sitting in the lobby of the Best Western in The Hollywood Hills

We've touched down in L.A. in the Hollywood Hills, home of the Upright Citizens Brigade L.A. There's a wonderful Lebowski-esque diner in our hotel called Diner 101 or something like that. We've been to L.A. a few times, but this is the coolest neighborhood we've stayed in, it might be the ONLY neighborhood we've stayed in. The previous trips we stayed in places that seemed to be next to major throughfares which didn't seem to constitute a "neighborhood." Where we are seems to be the Wicker Park of L.A. based on the hipster demo in Diner 101. I think they're all screenwriters.

The Hotel, in the words of Justin, is very Mulholland Drive, not the drive, the movie. A sort of sad, deadend for old Marilyn Monroes. You can imagine an aging starlet or Ed Wood living out their last days for $20 a day in a joint like this. This is actually $200 a day, but you could imagine a $20 a day version of this, eeeeeeeasily.

Justin's got two meetings today and as it turns out they are 25 minutes in two different directions from where we are, we're thinking of asking a friend for a ride to avoid a couple $50 cab rides, but it's kind of like asking a friend for a ride to Deerfield. Then again, maybe rides are taken to Deerfield every day in L.A.

We're calling all our friends right now and trying to get them out to our show tomorrow night. Bart Kias in the hizz, Matt Lenhart in the hizz, Ryan Anglin in the hizz, Ike Barinholtz in the hizz, Gillian Vigman in the hizz. I would like to get David Sachs in the hizz, but the number I had for his old hizz is no longer working, I think he changed hiz number when he moved to a new hizz.

Not much to update, but I found the hotspot in the lobby and couldn't pass up the opportuity to post that I'm in the lobby of a hotel in L.A.