A Very Bitter Short-Haired Chick Friday

The death of a perfectly good short-haired chick.



This pisses me off. I have had a thing for Daryn Kagan for years, she's not only hot, she's reporter-hot. But the news I've just heard is so upsetting that I can't handle it. Guess who's fucking her?



That's right, Glen Milstedt the guy who used to play Divine in Pink Flamingos...wait, that's not Glen Milstedt, how about this picture.



Now picture him spooning Daryn Kagan. EW!!!! How disgusting is that on how many levels? How dumb did she immediatly get? Hey I know Rush is putting on an act, but anyone so weak willed as to glom onto an opinion for ratings and ultimately play a major role in changing the tide of political opinion that leads to 2,000 dead soldiers is a weak fuckup. Plus he's ugly and fat and can't possibly have any personality given how easily influenced and predicable his opinions are. And right now that hottie is lying next to his fat hairy worn out Republican Oxycontin body. EWWWW! DOUBLE EW!!! OCTUPLE EW!!!!

But, one good can come of this. This may sound mean, but at least i let my dark side bubble to the top unlike many serial killers who bury it down deep inside and yell at their penis while choking themselves with a belt.

This could become a big tabloid story, putting Daryn on the mouths of every American who speculates on what kind of dirty republican sex they have, the media's about to be raped by somebody who's catching onto how asleep at the wheel they've been, and with all Daryn's Republican-esque quotes and soft-peddled apologist interviews she might get swept into the vast Fuck You the media's been earning for years. She might get into it and make more and more media presence, CNN will fire her, she'll go on Fox, they'll fire her and Rush will break it off. In two years she'll be a nobody, having been used up by the media she thought loved her, but still thinking that love genuine, she'll be desperate to tap her "look at me" vein with any media presence whatsoever.

And she'll do Playboy. See you then Darva.

Damn, I still can't believe my sweet sweet dumb dumb Daryn let that Conservative penis inside of her. Hey, they aren't married, didn't that used to be a conservative thing too? Stop fucking you non-married conservatives!