Riding The Bus Part 3

Haven't done this in a while. Always an interesting insight.

Schadenfreude Meeting Minutes 01/04/06

6:20 - Stephe is excited about our podcast, said he downloaded it over and over all day. He's also excited about the "explicit" tag because it's makes us more Wu-Tang
6:27 - Sandy got a Red Eye for Justin with the Bears on the cover.
6:28 - Justin asserts that he's not getting overly excited about The Bears, rather acting like they alway do this well. He throws the Red Eye back at Sandy saying the cover is jinxing it.
6:30 - Sandy thought this would make Justin's day, his gift rebuffed, Sandy states he's sorry he thought of Justin.
6:32 - Stephe bitches about the Penn State Game.
6:34 - Miner disaster convo - Justin hates the news coverage: "Sorry we told you your husband was alive...he's...he's not."
6:36 - Sandy does a bit with bikini catalog open, circling crotches every time he make a pretend serious point in his pretend serious speech. Funny.
6:43 - Kate's late, we talk sleeping habits, everyone always hears their alarm but me, everyone always wakes up with their alarm but me, who often fails to hear five alarms.
6:45 - Pete Gross has had people coming up to him saying "Hey, Tim Schadenfreude..."
6:46 - Designing the poster for the class.
6:58 - Down to business

Brief Recap:
Ed Bus is running for Alderman of the 53rd Ward for the 30-35th year in a row, but for the first time in his career as a local politician he has an opponent: Gretchen Ross-Stephenson. Ed, having his old school politics challenged and threatened by the high-tech, big money high stakes Gretchen campaign backed by powerhouse megacorporation Dinnerbansky & Ross, decides he needs to hire a Campaign manager for the first time ever. He chooses 25 year old uber-earnest mommy boy nerd Jason Challenger to cut his teeth on this Election. Dale-Ed's enforcer, Dorse-Ed's wife, Tanya-his daughter, Ted Dinnerbanski-President, CEO Dinnerbansky & Ross.

7:04 - Jason Challenger is caught at a Dinnerbanski & Ross party, kidnapped by Dale, and given a grilling about consorting with the enemy in the Bus Family Basment.
7:05 - Jason Challenger does a poor-man's press junket for Ed by taking him to his old radio station from college "I left a Sister's of Mercy Cassingle here, anyone ever find that?"
7:12 - Plot point controversy, Does Jason knows Ed has an opponent? Funny if he doesn't, but a lot of things need to fire to pull of the joke. Worth it?
7:15 - Kate arrives.
7:20 - Some confusion about the order of certain events.
7:30 - Laying out how Jason goes from Bus Campaign to the opponent's team.
7:50 - Dorse leaves Ed saying she doesn't know this man. Lines from Stripes creep into the scene - "You can't leave, all the plants will die!"
8:00 - We discuss Harold Ramis and if he's aware of the impact he's had, does he have reverence for his old work or is he just all about Analyze This?
8:05 - We discuss Neighbors and what's wrong with it. I beg Sandy to watch it because he will never see a film like it again in his life.
8:09 - We talk about the story of John Lennon & Paul McCartney watching SNL and almost going to the studio to pick up Lorne Michaels money he was offering for a Beatles reunion.
8:13 - If John Lennon were alive would he have sold out?
8:14 - What is selling out? I think Paul McCartney can do as many tours as he wants. Should he stop when he's reached the amount of money we'd allow him to make? The SBC commercial, that's selling out.
8:16 - Why does Michael Jackson own the rights? How does that work?
8:18 - Back at it.
8:22 - Ted D. makes an overture to Ed Bus to join his team.
8:28 - RIFF - Ed and Ted are old enemies since the time Ed was in a dunktank and the Ted hired Rick Sutcliffe throws a ball into Ed's gut causing him to fall in the water.
8:29 - Kate shouts NO! Because you just simple do not mention an 80's baseball player during a writing meeting
8:40 - We discuss the ending. Ed goes with Ted, but why? And why does Ted need the 53rd?
8:54 - trying to figure out what Ted's master plan is.
8:57 - Got it, Ted has created a product that sterilizes poor people so they can't procreate. Ted: Oh, they still get boners...
9:01 - Next door to Ed's office is a pro-bono Lamoz class for the poor that would be affected by Ted's diabolical plan.
9:05 - Stephe's finished with the poster for the workshop. Looks nice. Sandy imitates Dad prompting kid: "What do you say Justin?"
9:12 - We comment on our wall of headshots (if you've ever been to our office it's a central feature, I stole a ton of headshots from a production and covered our wall with them during a week Kate took off, she came back to see a wall full of replacements with "Kate" written above them. Funnily enough Mark took off a day that same week and a headshot in the stack looked EXACTLY like Mark at 45) and figure out which chick is the biggest psycho, which one will cut your dick off in the middle of the night. NAME REMOVED is my vote for biggest dick cutter.
9:15 - Justin tells of Conan Christmas special sketch "The Underprepared and Reluctant Children's Choir"
9:16 - Back at it. Folkman Jack teaching lamoz "Relax your hole...body." "A bad experience on recumbet bicycle robbed me of my taint." "I don’t have a dick due to a Northern Pike fishing trip gone awry...any questions?" Lamoz girl: "Yeah, could you stop?"
9:30 - How far to the dark side does Ed go? Sandy suggests we shouldn't go whole hog because then we have to bring him all the way back. I think all heroes should hang from the ledge by one hand with the bad guy ticking off fingers in your third act.
9:45 - The idea of busing voters in for election day. Dinnerbansky & Ross buses in accountants to vote, Ed's enforcer Dale switches the buses, the accountants get back on and it drives away and says "Destination: Fort Bragg/Iraq" After credits show them walking around Baghdad.
9:53 - Shit, I got us off into a Nerds tangent "Ogre go get a pie." "That's my pie!" I apologize.
9:54 - More Nerds "What's done is done, my players need a place to sleep tonight."
10:03 - Ed's retarded 80's Gang banger wannabe Rocky Bus has a heart to heart with Ed who's at his lowest

ROCKY
Looks like someone got hit by a shit truck.

Ed lowers his head in acknowledgement. A guy runs up covered in shit.

SHIT GUY
Oh my God, do you know anywhere with a public shower? I just got hit by a shit truck. I’ve got shit in my ear! I don’t even know who’s shit this is! Don’t they have regulations for hauling shit!

he runs off.

ROCKY
...well, you look bad either way, Ed.

10:04 - Rocky heart to heart convo is parody of Boyz 'N The Hood Ice Cube/Lawrence Fishburne conversation verbatim.
10:16 - Montage writing of Ed's plan to bring the community back together. Montage of community activism to bring the family he rejected back into the fold.
Joey - puking contest
Tanya - All her hottie friends wash cars in Catholic Schoolgirl outfits, they strip down to bikini’s.
10:17 - I state that finally with tits and bikini's in the movie we can pre-sell foreign distributors to finance the movie. Kate asks me if I'm kidding. I'm not. She knew I wasn't.
10:25 - Back to earlier in the plot, Jason working for Gretchen's campaign being sexually harrassed and hazed. Used to being hazed jason writes on his own forehead, shaves an eyebrow and sticks a dildo up his own butt.
10:26 - Kate: We've all buttfucked ourselves at our first meeting.
10:30 - BIT OF THE NIGHT: Gretchen: "I need you to fax something" Sandy as Jason: "Cool I'll just head off the BP, hey everyone, I'm going to the BP, Anyone want anything? Airpillows for your shoes? Black Cherry Magazine? Lottery ticket? hotdog? Six dollar box of cereal? Anybody Menstruating? Need something microwaved? Dusty Box of Boston Baked Beans? Something that smells like Curry? I'm gonna get some Desatin for my butthole."
10:33 - Sandy is still going making observation after observation of the bullshit you can get at a BP. We are laughing so hard. I'm crying.
10:34 - Sandy keeps going. Anything at all? Best of Funny Phone pranks? Timeline audio book? 3 day old roller hotdog? Packers shotglass? Curd? Cherry Shaped Air Freshner? Mexican Phone Card? Kate's stomach is in pain.
10:36 - Gretchen (after all that): We have a fax machine Jason. Jason: Oh, cool, I still need some Desenex for my butthole.
10:38 - Gretchen later takes the Jason seduction up a notch. Talks to him privately while wearing no pants, she has and Arooga horn on her desk which she pushes over. "Oh I dropped my aroooga horn." She bends over and it goes "Aroooga"
10:50 - Gretchen buys food for the office, Jason (who's never been paid and hasn't eaten in weeks) thinks he's being paid in food and announces to the reporter on the phone that he may actually poo today.
10:57 - We're trying to wrap up the scene and certain narrative elements are being skipped. As a shorthand Justin writes Gretchen is planning to turn all the water in the 53rd into Gold...water.
10:58 - kate makes fun of that shortcut and Justin starts a fight with Kate. Justin: "Are your hands all nice and soft from not typing Kate?" Kate defends herself. Justin: "At least I was on time tonight...Bolger." John, still with us.
11:02 - Gretchen fires Jason's love interest Holly.
11:03 - Reference to Holly as Boof from Teen Wolf, why do they call you Boof?
11:07 - Back to Gretchen showing her bush to Jason. This has gotten us off into a bad 11pm tangent. It is so obviously time to go. Lots of big hairy bush jokes. "It's like a soft pillow Jason, lay your head down." Justin suggests changing the movie's title to "Do You Like A Big Bush?"
11:11 - Kate (after literally 15 Bush jokes): COME ON! What kind of movie are we making? Justin: Calm down, we'll pick the best bush joke, we're just riffing.
11:20 - Wrapup conversation on the retreat in 9 days.
11:21 - Exit.