Check this out, okay, Steve, you know Steve. He finds this contest from the Asheville, North Carolina tourist bureau. Asking people to make a tourism video, if your tourism video is the vest tourism video out of all the tourism video's, meaning THE video that will make people flock to Asheville, North Carolina then you win $1,000...AND...a trip to Asheville. So Steve and his filmmaking partner in crime, Waki, decided to inundate them with outside the box concepts.
Now picture yourself, the head of tourism for Asheville, and you just got done watching an absolutely lovely montage of streams, flowers, and people water-skiing at magic hour, all of which faded very slowly and professionnally from one scene to the next. And then you put in this. And then this. And then this. And then this. And then this.
I find that fucking hilarious.
And this ridiculous.
After the fold, my review of X-Men 3.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
The Unknown Blogger!
Check this out. Otisburg has an L.A. Bureau Chief...a mystery L.A. Bureau Chief. I love it. It could be one of 8 people, I'll find out, but I like the style, not only the style of the writing, but also the mystery. He goes only by "Jack" and therefore is a Fight Club fan, so that limits it to...everybody. Thanks Jack, hopefully you'll keep it up, I could use the correspondents because Roommate Stephe somehow can only write once a month. Until I can move to L.A. and start scamming rewrites on Tranformers 3 I will live vicariously through you.
L.A. is a great big freeway...
So many books, movies, television shows and songs have commented on Los Angeles that it's a pretty daunting task to find something new to discuss. It's the entertainment capital of the world, yes, and it's home to gobs of celebs, true, but the myth of Los Angeles is not the daily life of Los Angeles. (Unless you're George Clooney. If you're George Clooney then the daily life of Los Angeles isn't real at all. The myth is real. Which I suppose would make the myth the daily life which would make it real...so if you're George Clooney disregard anything I've said about myth vs. daily life)
Let's get the big one out of the way. Hollywood. Hollywood sucks. I'm talking about the city of Hollywood now. It's filthy. It's overflowing with homeless people. The only stores anyone goes into sell cheap-ass movie paraphernalia like Charlie Chaplin mugs where the mustache appears or disappears depending on the heat of the beverage.* Want to go to a great restaurant? Go someplace else. Great theater? Uh uh. Sight seeing? Pretty much everywhere but Hollywood. So much of what L.A. has to offer isn't in Hollywood that it's no wonder the only people you'll see on the streets - besides the flowing homeless - are tourists.
Second: Stop referring to L.A. as "the city of broken dreams" or "a wasteland of failed hopes" or "a densely packed woodland of gnomes and imps who just need to find the key to the magical castle to free them from the curse of the necromancer" or any other such tired analogy. It's hacky and it's old. We don't have any more crack whores than a Mexican border town, and just as many failed actors (minus the bumble bee outfits).
For the most part, people in L.A. are doing just as good or as bad as the rest of country. We have jobs and homes and families and 2.5 dogs. We go to work in our Toyota Corollas and talk about whatever the hell everyone else in the country talks about. Yes, there are people who are aspiring actors or screenwriters or directors, but we ignore them just like everyone else in the film industry does. By the way, I'll let you in on a little known secret outside of L.A. If one of your L.A. friends tells you they work in movies and they're a "Production Assistant", that is an industry title given to the lowest ranking person on the set. For example, in the Beethoven movies, it was a Production Assistant who cleaned up Beethoven's shit. These friends of yours are no more in show business than a failed American Idol contestant.**
Everyone out here says they live in L.A. but chances are excellent that if you're reading this online you don't have any friends who live in the actual city of Los Angeles which is a shithole second only to Hollywood in terms of the homeless. The city of Los Angeles is really small and has only about 11 tall buildings (not too many in L.A. - earthquakes, y'know?). Los Angeles county on the other hand is colossal and has all kinds of cities in it like Santa Monica, Beverly Hills, your precious Hollywood, etc. most of which can be really great places to live.
The long and short of it is that while it may sound like I'm cynical about Los Angeles (the County), I'm really not. I love it here and everyone else I meet loves it too. The reason our real estate prices are so high is because so many, many people want to live here and so few want to leave. I am, however, cynical about the myths of L.A. It's really no different from any other city in the world. It's got good parts and bad.
Statistically speaking if you are interested in the film/television business you're better off living and working here, just like if you're interested in winning the lottery you are statistically better off in buying a ticket (though the odds remain eerily unchanged). But L.A. isn't some golden land of entertainment possibilities with it's people suckling at the teat of opportunity any more than it's a junkyard of chewed up souls and spent heroin needles. It's somewhere in between. Kind of like how Branson, MO is somewhere between Vegas and Atlantic City.
(By the way, the weather out here kicks ASS and is every bit as awesome as everyone says it is. But stay out, cuz we can't afford higher real estate prices.)
*Patent Pending
**I'd like to fuck Paula Abdul
-=-Jack-=-
Are you a friend of Jack's? Click here - iamjacksfriend@gmail.com
Are you an enemy of Jack's? Click here - iamjacksenemy@gmail.com
L.A. is a great big freeway...
So many books, movies, television shows and songs have commented on Los Angeles that it's a pretty daunting task to find something new to discuss. It's the entertainment capital of the world, yes, and it's home to gobs of celebs, true, but the myth of Los Angeles is not the daily life of Los Angeles. (Unless you're George Clooney. If you're George Clooney then the daily life of Los Angeles isn't real at all. The myth is real. Which I suppose would make the myth the daily life which would make it real...so if you're George Clooney disregard anything I've said about myth vs. daily life)
Let's get the big one out of the way. Hollywood. Hollywood sucks. I'm talking about the city of Hollywood now. It's filthy. It's overflowing with homeless people. The only stores anyone goes into sell cheap-ass movie paraphernalia like Charlie Chaplin mugs where the mustache appears or disappears depending on the heat of the beverage.* Want to go to a great restaurant? Go someplace else. Great theater? Uh uh. Sight seeing? Pretty much everywhere but Hollywood. So much of what L.A. has to offer isn't in Hollywood that it's no wonder the only people you'll see on the streets - besides the flowing homeless - are tourists.
Second: Stop referring to L.A. as "the city of broken dreams" or "a wasteland of failed hopes" or "a densely packed woodland of gnomes and imps who just need to find the key to the magical castle to free them from the curse of the necromancer" or any other such tired analogy. It's hacky and it's old. We don't have any more crack whores than a Mexican border town, and just as many failed actors (minus the bumble bee outfits).
For the most part, people in L.A. are doing just as good or as bad as the rest of country. We have jobs and homes and families and 2.5 dogs. We go to work in our Toyota Corollas and talk about whatever the hell everyone else in the country talks about. Yes, there are people who are aspiring actors or screenwriters or directors, but we ignore them just like everyone else in the film industry does. By the way, I'll let you in on a little known secret outside of L.A. If one of your L.A. friends tells you they work in movies and they're a "Production Assistant", that is an industry title given to the lowest ranking person on the set. For example, in the Beethoven movies, it was a Production Assistant who cleaned up Beethoven's shit. These friends of yours are no more in show business than a failed American Idol contestant.**
Everyone out here says they live in L.A. but chances are excellent that if you're reading this online you don't have any friends who live in the actual city of Los Angeles which is a shithole second only to Hollywood in terms of the homeless. The city of Los Angeles is really small and has only about 11 tall buildings (not too many in L.A. - earthquakes, y'know?). Los Angeles county on the other hand is colossal and has all kinds of cities in it like Santa Monica, Beverly Hills, your precious Hollywood, etc. most of which can be really great places to live.
The long and short of it is that while it may sound like I'm cynical about Los Angeles (the County), I'm really not. I love it here and everyone else I meet loves it too. The reason our real estate prices are so high is because so many, many people want to live here and so few want to leave. I am, however, cynical about the myths of L.A. It's really no different from any other city in the world. It's got good parts and bad.
Statistically speaking if you are interested in the film/television business you're better off living and working here, just like if you're interested in winning the lottery you are statistically better off in buying a ticket (though the odds remain eerily unchanged). But L.A. isn't some golden land of entertainment possibilities with it's people suckling at the teat of opportunity any more than it's a junkyard of chewed up souls and spent heroin needles. It's somewhere in between. Kind of like how Branson, MO is somewhere between Vegas and Atlantic City.
(By the way, the weather out here kicks ASS and is every bit as awesome as everyone says it is. But stay out, cuz we can't afford higher real estate prices.)
*Patent Pending
**I'd like to fuck Paula Abdul
-=-Jack-=-
Are you a friend of Jack's? Click here - iamjacksfriend@gmail.com
Are you an enemy of Jack's? Click here - iamjacksenemy@gmail.com
Monday, May 29, 2006
Written on a hot Memorial Day weekend Sunday night...
What a night for writing!
Summer's here, thank God. I am sweating my ass off and loving every minute of it. I would rather be uncomfortably hot than cold at all. This is why I think I was meant to live in L.A. I credit Zippy with my love of heat. Oh, Zippy? Zippy Zipperchest? I have talked too few times of Little Caesars. I'll get to Zip.
Writing to James Newton Howard's Unbreakable Score, thank you Fred. Maybe the best writing music ever. A couple weeks ago it was Bear McCreary's Battlestar Galactica soundtrack, which was given to me by a Schadenfriend, though I forget now which one, but thank you. It fucking rocks. If anyone out there digs the Aliens Soundtrack, get Battlestar!
It's like 80, sitting on the patio of this bar in Ravenswood with an empty sidewalk pavilion called Joie De Vine (nice) drinking Miller Lite, contemplating entering the Steven Spielberg/Mark Burnett reality show on finding America's next great director. Part of me's like "I don't want to be discovered on some reality show, I want to be discovered like Steven Soderbergh or David Fincher, working hard and having my work catch the eye of the bigwigs in the industry who invite me in for a development meeting, are charmed over by how hilarious AND centered I am, and give me a development deal for the Moon Knight live-action movie." And part of me says I'm 33, I'm tired of choosing the headline of my future interviews on indiewire.com and would just like to make a fucking movie. Plus I need to shoot shorts anyway to beef up my reel to "actually has made a short" level and enter some festival I've entered like one festival in my life, and it was for Phudi Mart, which was rejected because they didn't accept parodies. Ever since SXSW I've been dying to make a short just to get to another film festival, have that buzz of an audience reaction, like performing, but pushing a different pleasure button.
So I'm writing a couple things for fun right now. One short which I want to turn into a comic, One short that I want to turn into a feature, and one short that I want to turn into a downloadable series and then a tv show. But I can't write too long because I've got some films to do for the website and I've been falling behind on writing the character blogs on the site. So, shit to do, I guess. If only I could free up forty hours or so, let's see, what's blocking that amount of time...
So I started drinking at work. I know they say that's a sign of alcoholism, but what if you ONLY drink at work? I like the old salesman cliche, I've finally accepted that I'm not a movie producer, I'm a salesman and I think the powers that be would rathr jump balls-first onto the Picasso than let anyone else have creative control over a paperclip. Which means my life is like everyone elses, just have to keep trying harder.
This week we begin to rewrite Alderman to finally turn it in. It's a pretty damn good first draft, but I can't wait until a rewrite that we all sign off on, then let's send that fucker out. We've got a couple people willing to look at it. It's pretty good when you realize that it was all written with various pieces of information about Ed that came out in shows over 8 years, and yet, it's a pretty cohesive story, there's just too much plot in this current draft. But if you remove it then it's just a series of things that happen and no tension. I hate letting the audience off the hook. So many writers want to do that. I just did a rewrite on this other screenplay and finally learned the value of the 20th draft, but throughout the process you really fight against this inner laziness that just wants to let the audience off the hook and call it "good enough." What's going to have to go are a lot of jokes, so much time is spent on jokes, which is, obviously the point, but some jokes take on a life of their own. I love all of them, but you have to send characters to entire locations and have them engage in an entire conversation to get in the joke about how Billy Goats is sharply divided between toursits and old-schoolers.
THE COUNTER
Jason stares up at the piss yellow translucent menu.
JASON
Ahhhhhhh.
BILLY GOAT
Double cheese?
JASON
Ahhhhhhhhh.
BILLY GOAT
Double cheese? Double cheese!
JASON
Ham & Cheese on pita looks good.
BILLY GOAT
Double cheese?
JASON
Tell me about the perch dinner.
BILLY GOAT
Double cheese?
HOLLY
Jason.
JASON
(to Holly)
Wait, is this the place? The
Saturday Night Live place?
HOLLY
Yes.
BILLY GOAT
Doublecheese?
JASON
Really?
Holly nods. Jason turns back.
JASON
I'll take the double cheese.
BILLY GOAT
Doublecheese! Drink!
JASON
(snickers)
I'll take a...a coke?
BILLY GOAT
...We don't have Coke, would you
prefer a pepsi instead?
Jason laughs, stops.
JASON
Wait that's not the line...
BILLY GOAT
That's not my line, that's Zeds.
Zed!
Billy Goat shouts over to Zed. Who stubs a cigarette in an
ashtray, puts down the paper and comes to the counter.
BILLY GOAT
Gentleman would like a Coke?
ZED
NO COKE, PEPSI!
The Nordstrom bags APPLAUD, Zed throws a spatula, they
scatter.
Not that I would cut that scene. The point is, that's one joke, essentially, all the other jokes take time to get into and get out of.
Summer's here, thank God. I am sweating my ass off and loving every minute of it. I would rather be uncomfortably hot than cold at all. This is why I think I was meant to live in L.A. I credit Zippy with my love of heat. Oh, Zippy? Zippy Zipperchest? I have talked too few times of Little Caesars. I'll get to Zip.
Writing to James Newton Howard's Unbreakable Score, thank you Fred. Maybe the best writing music ever. A couple weeks ago it was Bear McCreary's Battlestar Galactica soundtrack, which was given to me by a Schadenfriend, though I forget now which one, but thank you. It fucking rocks. If anyone out there digs the Aliens Soundtrack, get Battlestar!
It's like 80, sitting on the patio of this bar in Ravenswood with an empty sidewalk pavilion called Joie De Vine (nice) drinking Miller Lite, contemplating entering the Steven Spielberg/Mark Burnett reality show on finding America's next great director. Part of me's like "I don't want to be discovered on some reality show, I want to be discovered like Steven Soderbergh or David Fincher, working hard and having my work catch the eye of the bigwigs in the industry who invite me in for a development meeting, are charmed over by how hilarious AND centered I am, and give me a development deal for the Moon Knight live-action movie." And part of me says I'm 33, I'm tired of choosing the headline of my future interviews on indiewire.com and would just like to make a fucking movie. Plus I need to shoot shorts anyway to beef up my reel to "actually has made a short" level and enter some festival I've entered like one festival in my life, and it was for Phudi Mart, which was rejected because they didn't accept parodies. Ever since SXSW I've been dying to make a short just to get to another film festival, have that buzz of an audience reaction, like performing, but pushing a different pleasure button.
So I'm writing a couple things for fun right now. One short which I want to turn into a comic, One short that I want to turn into a feature, and one short that I want to turn into a downloadable series and then a tv show. But I can't write too long because I've got some films to do for the website and I've been falling behind on writing the character blogs on the site. So, shit to do, I guess. If only I could free up forty hours or so, let's see, what's blocking that amount of time...
So I started drinking at work. I know they say that's a sign of alcoholism, but what if you ONLY drink at work? I like the old salesman cliche, I've finally accepted that I'm not a movie producer, I'm a salesman and I think the powers that be would rathr jump balls-first onto the Picasso than let anyone else have creative control over a paperclip. Which means my life is like everyone elses, just have to keep trying harder.
This week we begin to rewrite Alderman to finally turn it in. It's a pretty damn good first draft, but I can't wait until a rewrite that we all sign off on, then let's send that fucker out. We've got a couple people willing to look at it. It's pretty good when you realize that it was all written with various pieces of information about Ed that came out in shows over 8 years, and yet, it's a pretty cohesive story, there's just too much plot in this current draft. But if you remove it then it's just a series of things that happen and no tension. I hate letting the audience off the hook. So many writers want to do that. I just did a rewrite on this other screenplay and finally learned the value of the 20th draft, but throughout the process you really fight against this inner laziness that just wants to let the audience off the hook and call it "good enough." What's going to have to go are a lot of jokes, so much time is spent on jokes, which is, obviously the point, but some jokes take on a life of their own. I love all of them, but you have to send characters to entire locations and have them engage in an entire conversation to get in the joke about how Billy Goats is sharply divided between toursits and old-schoolers.
THE COUNTER
Jason stares up at the piss yellow translucent menu.
JASON
Ahhhhhhh.
BILLY GOAT
Double cheese?
JASON
Ahhhhhhhhh.
BILLY GOAT
Double cheese? Double cheese!
JASON
Ham & Cheese on pita looks good.
BILLY GOAT
Double cheese?
JASON
Tell me about the perch dinner.
BILLY GOAT
Double cheese?
HOLLY
Jason.
JASON
(to Holly)
Wait, is this the place? The
Saturday Night Live place?
HOLLY
Yes.
BILLY GOAT
Doublecheese?
JASON
Really?
Holly nods. Jason turns back.
JASON
I'll take the double cheese.
BILLY GOAT
Doublecheese! Drink!
JASON
(snickers)
I'll take a...a coke?
BILLY GOAT
...We don't have Coke, would you
prefer a pepsi instead?
Jason laughs, stops.
JASON
Wait that's not the line...
BILLY GOAT
That's not my line, that's Zeds.
Zed!
Billy Goat shouts over to Zed. Who stubs a cigarette in an
ashtray, puts down the paper and comes to the counter.
BILLY GOAT
Gentleman would like a Coke?
ZED
NO COKE, PEPSI!
The Nordstrom bags APPLAUD, Zed throws a spatula, they
scatter.
Not that I would cut that scene. The point is, that's one joke, essentially, all the other jokes take time to get into and get out of.
Friday, May 26, 2006
Damnnnnnn. Is it ever Short-Haired Chick Friday
Let's see, I've had Natalie Portman, eh, kind of attractive, Keira Knightley, not bad, Selma Blair, Angelina Jolie, Shannyn Sossamon. I guess they're all okay. But I think I'd put them all in a bus and send them into the Little Miami River for...
Katherine Moennig.
Everything I love about chicks with short hair is right here. Perfect. Short, hair, spunky attitude, small boobs, dresses like a boy, and plays a lesbian. Perfect. Now all she has to do is make an indie film or be in an indie band, or sleep with me.
That's right, boy it up, Kate!
She looks like Justin Theroux in Charlie's Angels 2, who I'm not attracted to, because he's a guy.
And could never pull off wearing that top.
Kate plays is on the show The L-Word, the L-word being "Loquatious"...because they're all so Loqua...wait, no..."Lesbian." I don't watch, it's on tv, cable to boot, so double-whammy there, actually, take back one of those whammies. I've been renting tv on dvd lately, what a great innovation. Cleverly timed with the advent of tv getting good. On my tv right now have to be three of the best shows ever made Viva La Bam (season two will make you laugh like nothing else, those guys are the best characters EVER), Battlestar Galactica (who made a bet with them that they couldn't make the greatest war tv show ever?) and Arrested Development (which I need to say nothing about).
Damn.
But unless I move in with Carla & Jessi or Heather & Judy or Liz & Steph I probably won't be watching this show anytime soon. But respect for her work is not really where I'm going with this.
Where was I going with this?
Oh yeah. ... ... hold on, I'm staring. Mentally touching.
Oh, hey, how perfect a segue is this?! My good good longtime friends at Gayco, the gay & lesbian sketch comedy troupe are putting up their newest review. This lesbian blog is now a lesbian tie-in. It's called The DaVinci GAYCOde, which is gay, but I guess that's the point. I suggested the title Roarance of A Labia but they chose to uncover the mysteries of OpusGei, which is funny.
Did I put that picture up already? My bad.
The Davinci GAYCOde
Runs Fridays and Saturdays at 7:45 PM
June 1 through July 9
Theatre Building Chicago
1225 West Belmont Avenue
Box Office: 773.327-5252
Purchase Tickets from Theatre Building
Purchase tickets at Ticketmaster
Tickets: $20
And they're funny, great sketch chops, whether you're gay or straight their sketch comedy is tops, they've been doing this for 10 years, and they were good before they had 10 years under their gay belts. Go! Go now! Get to the CHOPPER NOW!!!
Shit, must be hitting the wrong button. Which is ironic considering that picture is pushing all the right ones.
I should do a Todd Voorhies review of GayCo's new show. "Ummm, so, fuckin', why don't the lesbians make out more?"
Which is the weird stigma about male obsession with lesbians. Not me. I just like that they have short hair and usually like playing on playgrounds more than many straight women, they don't usually like Irish Eyes, like some straight women. Don't get me wrong, I love watching Lesbians makeout, especially when I'm dating one of them.
I've dated many women who played lesbians, some of which still play lesbians, soooo probably not an act. Hey, if you're gonna date short-haired chicks, you're going to date your share of lesbians. If I were a meathead I'd be all broken up over this symbolic inadequacy at pleasing women and probably do something desperate out of self-hatred. But I am no meathead, instead I am friend to all lesbians.
Which, rumor has it, Kate Moennig is not. Sorry to blow it for and L-Worders out there.
LAST ONE!
BEST ONE!
LAST ONE!
BEST ONE!
Okay, I know, there's a dude in the shot. But that's not where I'm looking. Abs. Throw abs into my list of perfect short-hair attributes. Abs.
Hold on...staring...mentally touching.
NOW GO SEE X-MEN!
Katherine Moennig.
Everything I love about chicks with short hair is right here. Perfect. Short, hair, spunky attitude, small boobs, dresses like a boy, and plays a lesbian. Perfect. Now all she has to do is make an indie film or be in an indie band, or sleep with me.
That's right, boy it up, Kate!
She looks like Justin Theroux in Charlie's Angels 2, who I'm not attracted to, because he's a guy.
And could never pull off wearing that top.
Kate plays is on the show The L-Word, the L-word being "Loquatious"...because they're all so Loqua...wait, no..."Lesbian." I don't watch, it's on tv, cable to boot, so double-whammy there, actually, take back one of those whammies. I've been renting tv on dvd lately, what a great innovation. Cleverly timed with the advent of tv getting good. On my tv right now have to be three of the best shows ever made Viva La Bam (season two will make you laugh like nothing else, those guys are the best characters EVER), Battlestar Galactica (who made a bet with them that they couldn't make the greatest war tv show ever?) and Arrested Development (which I need to say nothing about).
Damn.
But unless I move in with Carla & Jessi or Heather & Judy or Liz & Steph I probably won't be watching this show anytime soon. But respect for her work is not really where I'm going with this.
Where was I going with this?
Oh yeah. ... ... hold on, I'm staring. Mentally touching.
Oh, hey, how perfect a segue is this?! My good good longtime friends at Gayco, the gay & lesbian sketch comedy troupe are putting up their newest review. This lesbian blog is now a lesbian tie-in. It's called The DaVinci GAYCOde, which is gay, but I guess that's the point. I suggested the title Roarance of A Labia but they chose to uncover the mysteries of OpusGei, which is funny.
Did I put that picture up already? My bad.
The Davinci GAYCOde
Runs Fridays and Saturdays at 7:45 PM
June 1 through July 9
Theatre Building Chicago
1225 West Belmont Avenue
Box Office: 773.327-5252
Purchase Tickets from Theatre Building
Purchase tickets at Ticketmaster
Tickets: $20
And they're funny, great sketch chops, whether you're gay or straight their sketch comedy is tops, they've been doing this for 10 years, and they were good before they had 10 years under their gay belts. Go! Go now! Get to the CHOPPER NOW!!!
Shit, must be hitting the wrong button. Which is ironic considering that picture is pushing all the right ones.
I should do a Todd Voorhies review of GayCo's new show. "Ummm, so, fuckin', why don't the lesbians make out more?"
Which is the weird stigma about male obsession with lesbians. Not me. I just like that they have short hair and usually like playing on playgrounds more than many straight women, they don't usually like Irish Eyes, like some straight women. Don't get me wrong, I love watching Lesbians makeout, especially when I'm dating one of them.
I've dated many women who played lesbians, some of which still play lesbians, soooo probably not an act. Hey, if you're gonna date short-haired chicks, you're going to date your share of lesbians. If I were a meathead I'd be all broken up over this symbolic inadequacy at pleasing women and probably do something desperate out of self-hatred. But I am no meathead, instead I am friend to all lesbians.
Which, rumor has it, Kate Moennig is not. Sorry to blow it for and L-Worders out there.
LAST ONE!
BEST ONE!
LAST ONE!
BEST ONE!
Okay, I know, there's a dude in the shot. But that's not where I'm looking. Abs. Throw abs into my list of perfect short-hair attributes. Abs.
Hold on...staring...mentally touching.
NOW GO SEE X-MEN!
Last Time on Falcon Crest!
When Emma's lover, Turner Bates, who was on the scene when Jason died, returns, Chase informs him that Jason supposedly died in a car crash. Knowing this to be untrue, Turner seeks Emma to learn what happened after he ran from the scene on the night of Jason's death, but Angela throws Turner off her property. Turner sneaks back, steals Emma away and romances her in order to learn the truth. Unable to obtain any straight answers from Emma, Turner tries to blackmail Angela, who in turn calls in the police, and Turner, after a car chase, is accidentally killed. Chase and Lance pull Emma out and save her. When Maggie says that she may be pregnant, the Giobertis try to cope with the effects that it would cause.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
What I'm Listening To Right Now
The Soundtrack To Klute composed my Michael Small. Freaky music, as sparse as the movie, perfect (like you) and available at MovieGrooves. The second greatest website of all time. I just watched Klute for the first time, Fonda earned that Oscar (I know, I'm weighing in a little late), and is there a film more gorgeously shot than Klute? Gordon "Godfather" Willis firing on all cylinders, the best cinematographer of all time doing his best work under Alan "All The President's Men" Pakula who's at his most formalistic, and that's a gooooood thing. Another one of those slow, delberate (Gerry, Elephant, Last Days) films that I just love. Awesome. David Fincher's favorite film of all time, FYI. There's something about those 70's films, once loosened from political contraints and the obvious experiementation, they're just so confident.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Not voting Republican has proven hazardous to your health
In the grand tradition of "We will be attacked again if you vote for John Kerry" and "rational debate aids the terrorists" comes...
Shameless. What are their ideas again? Do they have ideas? Thoughts? Discussion points? A side of the debate? I don't know if I see any of that. I know they're good a creating problems that don't exist, coming up with solutions to those problems that involve no-bid government contracts and railing against opposition for not having a solution to a problem that doesn't exist while calling them names. I'm sure Thomas Jefferson would be happy.
Shameless. What are their ideas again? Do they have ideas? Thoughts? Discussion points? A side of the debate? I don't know if I see any of that. I know they're good a creating problems that don't exist, coming up with solutions to those problems that involve no-bid government contracts and railing against opposition for not having a solution to a problem that doesn't exist while calling them names. I'm sure Thomas Jefferson would be happy.
I don't think I'm helping
I'm in a Second City Directing Class Thesis Show for Sean Cusick. I've actually been improvising lately, it feels good to improvise again, with the exception of two Hot Karl shows it's been a good six years since I ran frightened away from improvising. Still not my favorite thing in the world, I just don't like the idea of being rusty at something. Also just putting up a plain old sketch show is something I'm rusty at. No rep, no pretensions, no rent to pay, just...a sketch show. Sean needed a name for the show. Here are my contributions, some of which crack me up but which probably aren't appropriate. Thought I'd share.
"Skybox! The Show!"
"Flatliners"
"Unlimited Weekend Minutes"
"Tits & Guns"
"African American Forum"
"It's Like a Spoon AND a Fork"
"What's In The Box?! What's In The Box?!"
"Put The Lotion In The Basket"
"Ma & Pa's Olde Tyme Fuckfeste"
"Ronnys III"
"DATE RAPE: THE MUSICAL!"
"Being Sean Cusick"
"That Recurring Dream With The Obvious Homosexual Metaphors"
"Seriously...what is up with Tom Cruise?"
"Michael Jackson's Latest Release"
"There's People Starving In The World, Which I Hate"
"Dick Cheney Has a Bad Heart, George Bush goes on Vacation and Other Political Observations You Probably Haven't Thought Of"
"Roarance of a Labia"
"Pancake Breakfast"
"So What's Up With These iPods?"
Anyone have any suggestions?
"Skybox! The Show!"
"Flatliners"
"Unlimited Weekend Minutes"
"Tits & Guns"
"African American Forum"
"It's Like a Spoon AND a Fork"
"What's In The Box?! What's In The Box?!"
"Put The Lotion In The Basket"
"Ma & Pa's Olde Tyme Fuckfeste"
"Ronnys III"
"DATE RAPE: THE MUSICAL!"
"Being Sean Cusick"
"That Recurring Dream With The Obvious Homosexual Metaphors"
"Seriously...what is up with Tom Cruise?"
"Michael Jackson's Latest Release"
"There's People Starving In The World, Which I Hate"
"Dick Cheney Has a Bad Heart, George Bush goes on Vacation and Other Political Observations You Probably Haven't Thought Of"
"Roarance of a Labia"
"Pancake Breakfast"
"So What's Up With These iPods?"
Anyone have any suggestions?
I'm the Juggernaut Bitch!
A little X3 countdown fun. Three days. Be sure you're volume's down on the clip below.
Monday, May 22, 2006
The Countdown Continues
38 Days until
It's getting exciting. The movie looks so fucking good and I'm just so excited to see Superman fly. I like comics and all, particularly Moon Knight if you hadn't noticed, but this goes way beyond that. Superman is a fairy tale that really affects me. It's magical and I'm so excited because I've heard interviews with Bryan Singer and he feels very similarly about the magic of Superman. Just seeing any live-action superhero movie is a thrill, I enjoyed the fucking Phantom for fuck's sake and get weepy at this dumbass trailer for the Aquaman tv show.
I've been completely spoiled for the last six years because the very existence of them thrills me, but seeing one actually pulled off (Blade, Daredevil, Elektra - that's right, Elektra, blow me) is a special thrill, and seeing one just NAILED (X-Men 2, Spider-Man 2, Batman Begins, The Hulk - that's right, The Hulk, go screw) is fucking heroin. And since this whole obsession is rooted in my childhood obsession with Superman: The Movie
I'm pretty excited to see Bryan Singer NAIL Superman Returns.
I think it'll be great, but how much does this ad make Superman Returns look like it'll suck?
Gee what network aired this teaser?
The magic of editing because the International Trailer makes it look like an epic.
And seriously, how spoiled am I? I'm writing this three days before another X-Men movie opens. Crazy.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Yowza! What a show.
There are many great moments in Schadenfreude's history but there are four that leap to mind as epic.
When we brought a full Gospel Choir onstage at The Chicago Improv Festival in 2001
When we brought a full Bagpiper group onstage at The Chicago Improv Festival in 2002
When we turned the Athaneum into a Hotel & Casino In 2003
The show we did for the opening of The New Goodman where we made fun of the goodman for a half hour
The bits meant get people talking about the next day. The bits that, hopefully, become legend and get all exaggerated as people tell people about it and then someday be one of those things that people claim to have seen.
On Friday night I think we added one to the list. "Save Michelle Leigh" It was a pretty crazy event. These Rent Parties really are something, if you haven't been to one you gotta come June 16th. It's Cafe Ashie on Steroids (Cafe' Ashie, now Stargaze, 5419 N. Clark St. was the home of the first 16 Schadenfreude Shows in 1998 featuring Gillian Vigman and Ike Barinholtz).
I think I said it all when I cornered Stephe at the after-party at the Damen Bar & Grill:
"Stephe, you know that bit where you get upset at Michelle Leigh leaving, you blog about it continuously, start a website, start an online petition, meet an inside man at fox, get in all the local papers, radio, community blogs, then invite Michelle Leigh out to a show packed with people because of the buzz to make a thunderdome video to put on youtube?"
"Yeah"
"That's a good bit."
It was a good bit. Then someone threw a glass and they kicked us out.
One thing I didn't think of that Michelles shared was how good she felt. I guess I didn't really think about her being depressed about being fired, but she said this made her feel really good. Imagine every time you've ever been fired, how happy were you? Well imgaine someone starts a website to rehire you and gets 100 people to chant to save you.
Oh and at the Damen Bar & Grill, Justin was the DJ master, he hit that friggin' internet jukebox with a vengeance, Metallica, Bell Biv Devoe, Janet Jackson, he needs to publish his playlist online, he really had the place jumping. Then someone threw a glass and they kicked us out.
When we brought a full Gospel Choir onstage at The Chicago Improv Festival in 2001
When we brought a full Bagpiper group onstage at The Chicago Improv Festival in 2002
When we turned the Athaneum into a Hotel & Casino In 2003
The show we did for the opening of The New Goodman where we made fun of the goodman for a half hour
The bits meant get people talking about the next day. The bits that, hopefully, become legend and get all exaggerated as people tell people about it and then someday be one of those things that people claim to have seen.
On Friday night I think we added one to the list. "Save Michelle Leigh" It was a pretty crazy event. These Rent Parties really are something, if you haven't been to one you gotta come June 16th. It's Cafe Ashie on Steroids (Cafe' Ashie, now Stargaze, 5419 N. Clark St. was the home of the first 16 Schadenfreude Shows in 1998 featuring Gillian Vigman and Ike Barinholtz).
I think I said it all when I cornered Stephe at the after-party at the Damen Bar & Grill:
"Stephe, you know that bit where you get upset at Michelle Leigh leaving, you blog about it continuously, start a website, start an online petition, meet an inside man at fox, get in all the local papers, radio, community blogs, then invite Michelle Leigh out to a show packed with people because of the buzz to make a thunderdome video to put on youtube?"
"Yeah"
"That's a good bit."
It was a good bit. Then someone threw a glass and they kicked us out.
One thing I didn't think of that Michelles shared was how good she felt. I guess I didn't really think about her being depressed about being fired, but she said this made her feel really good. Imagine every time you've ever been fired, how happy were you? Well imgaine someone starts a website to rehire you and gets 100 people to chant to save you.
Oh and at the Damen Bar & Grill, Justin was the DJ master, he hit that friggin' internet jukebox with a vengeance, Metallica, Bell Biv Devoe, Janet Jackson, he needs to publish his playlist online, he really had the place jumping. Then someone threw a glass and they kicked us out.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Last Time on Falcon Crest!
Julia's husband, Tony, who deserted her and Lance twelve years ago, suddenly reappears with the genuine desire to make amends and renew their relationship. Detesting his father for leaving home, Lance agonizes over the fact that Tony can return to Falcon Crest as if he had never left. While Lance is jealous of his mother's attention to Tony, Angela tries to interfere. Tony asks Julia to leave with him to start a new life away from Angela, but Julia finds she is unable to leave. Meanwhile, Chase becomes concerned about Maggie's new job as a newspaper reporter in San Francisco because she will be working for Angela's ex-husband, Douglas Channing.
A Very Lazy Short-Haired Chick Friday
Lazy Short-Haired Chick Friday
Okay, it's been a busy week. We've been preparing tonight's massive Rent Party, which I'm assuming I'll see you all at, and if you're not interested in coming, then you obviously haven't been following Stephe's AMAZING run as a scoop reporter and social activist in the firing of Michelle Leigh, who, I can't even believe, is going to be there tonight. In addition Sean Cusick has asked me to be a writer/cast member in his Directing Thesis at The Second City, plus I just rewrote my screenplay, which, by the way, completely kicks ass. Finally after years of trying I feel like I've actually mastered the form. For any apsiring screenwriters out there the secret is, it's not done yet and first drafts are so worthless it's not really worth spending that much time on them. Get it over with and move into rewriting, and then rewrite again. I know I know you've heard the same lesson 100 times, but the only way to find out why people say that is to do it, and then start a blog and repreat it.
Bottom line: Short-Haired Repeat: Marley Shelton
I don't know shit about her except that she caught my eye in Sin City. A comic book orgasmic event anyway.
Here's Marley with Raab Himself (that reference is for my sister)
Gee why would she catch my eye?
But evidently she was also a cheerleader in Sugar & Spice.
which I feel I'd be annoyed at. And she was also the hot girl in the bikini who laid next to Jake Gyllenhall in Bubble Boy, which I feel I would be annoyed at.
She's got nice eyes and pretty classical good looks, you could make that pic black & white and fuzz it up and she might look right at home as a 1930's cabaret diva.
Marley grew up in Eagle Rock, California. Her mother, Carol, was a teacher and former singer and her father, Christopher Shelton, worked as a director and producer. She has three sisters: Koren, Erin, and Samantha. Both of her parents were involved in local theater projects, but as a teen, Marley was never interested in life on the stage. While at Eagle Rock High School, she was a varsity cheerleader, was voted Prom Queen and held part-time jobs at stores like Contempo and Wet Seal.
I looked that up.
Her high school prom date was with her boyfriend at the time - "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (1997) actor, Nicholas Brendon. He bought her 100 roses, wore a tux and drove a black convertible Mustang. Marley said that he "totally did it right".
Fag.
A fag who fucked Marley Shelton.
Hot.
Hotter.
Hottest.
Okay, it's been a busy week. We've been preparing tonight's massive Rent Party, which I'm assuming I'll see you all at, and if you're not interested in coming, then you obviously haven't been following Stephe's AMAZING run as a scoop reporter and social activist in the firing of Michelle Leigh, who, I can't even believe, is going to be there tonight. In addition Sean Cusick has asked me to be a writer/cast member in his Directing Thesis at The Second City, plus I just rewrote my screenplay, which, by the way, completely kicks ass. Finally after years of trying I feel like I've actually mastered the form. For any apsiring screenwriters out there the secret is, it's not done yet and first drafts are so worthless it's not really worth spending that much time on them. Get it over with and move into rewriting, and then rewrite again. I know I know you've heard the same lesson 100 times, but the only way to find out why people say that is to do it, and then start a blog and repreat it.
Bottom line: Short-Haired Repeat: Marley Shelton
I don't know shit about her except that she caught my eye in Sin City. A comic book orgasmic event anyway.
Here's Marley with Raab Himself (that reference is for my sister)
Gee why would she catch my eye?
But evidently she was also a cheerleader in Sugar & Spice.
which I feel I'd be annoyed at. And she was also the hot girl in the bikini who laid next to Jake Gyllenhall in Bubble Boy, which I feel I would be annoyed at.
She's got nice eyes and pretty classical good looks, you could make that pic black & white and fuzz it up and she might look right at home as a 1930's cabaret diva.
Marley grew up in Eagle Rock, California. Her mother, Carol, was a teacher and former singer and her father, Christopher Shelton, worked as a director and producer. She has three sisters: Koren, Erin, and Samantha. Both of her parents were involved in local theater projects, but as a teen, Marley was never interested in life on the stage. While at Eagle Rock High School, she was a varsity cheerleader, was voted Prom Queen and held part-time jobs at stores like Contempo and Wet Seal.
I looked that up.
Her high school prom date was with her boyfriend at the time - "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (1997) actor, Nicholas Brendon. He bought her 100 roses, wore a tux and drove a black convertible Mustang. Marley said that he "totally did it right".
Fag.
A fag who fucked Marley Shelton.
Hot.
Hotter.
Hottest.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Dick Parlors
I'm collecting a list of Dick Parlors. I was in the Dick Parlor known as The Corner Bakery ironically on the corner of Bakery St., no, corner of Wacker & Randolph, my bad, no irony. Corner Bakery, that's so lame. It's so..., like "Country Kitchen," or "Cracker Barrell" or "Pa's Whittlin' Hole." Corner Bakery.
Anyway, the point is, I went into there twice in a week and the people in there are dicks! It's a Dick Parlor. Now, of course you'll walk into a place and have the guy helping you be a dick, but maybe the people around that dick are smiling or talking to one another, so it's just one dick, not a dick parlor. This was a Dick Parlor. Just everybody was a dick, BOTH DAYS, DOUBLE-BLIND. Actually I'm not sure that's what double-blind means, and is it double-blind or double-bind?
So then I got into the Post Office in the Thompson center two times in a week and realized, THAT's a Dick Parlor too! Everybody, no matter who's working, total dick.
So I'm starting a list of Dick Parlors, feel free to list them below and I'll post that a new Dick Parlor has been discovered and warn all of Otisburg through our public address system, this blog.
The Ed Debevic's, The Weiner's Circle and every Potbelly's don't count. Debevics is doing a bit, The Weiner Circle may be doing a bit but nobody cares, and Potbelly's, well is that a bit? You ever walk into a place where everyone's really shitty and you think "Are they doing the Ed Debevics bit or are they just assholes?"
adw
Anyway, the point is, I went into there twice in a week and the people in there are dicks! It's a Dick Parlor. Now, of course you'll walk into a place and have the guy helping you be a dick, but maybe the people around that dick are smiling or talking to one another, so it's just one dick, not a dick parlor. This was a Dick Parlor. Just everybody was a dick, BOTH DAYS, DOUBLE-BLIND. Actually I'm not sure that's what double-blind means, and is it double-blind or double-bind?
So then I got into the Post Office in the Thompson center two times in a week and realized, THAT's a Dick Parlor too! Everybody, no matter who's working, total dick.
So I'm starting a list of Dick Parlors, feel free to list them below and I'll post that a new Dick Parlor has been discovered and warn all of Otisburg through our public address system, this blog.
The Ed Debevic's, The Weiner's Circle and every Potbelly's don't count. Debevics is doing a bit, The Weiner Circle may be doing a bit but nobody cares, and Potbelly's, well is that a bit? You ever walk into a place where everyone's really shitty and you think "Are they doing the Ed Debevics bit or are they just assholes?"
adw
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Otisburg Welcomes Roommate Stephe
I've got a guest blogger! Movin' on up. To the top. Of a deluxe apartment. In Edgewater.
For 15 years I've been listening to Roommate Stephe's personal theories on culture. For the last year I've countering each exposition with the words "blog it." I guess it sunk in. Please give a warm welcome to my Wednesday guest blogger, Roommate Stephe.
Looking ahead to the summer movie season . . .
Everyone seems to be getting excited about the new 'Pirates of the
Carribbean' sequel. But I don't know . . .
I mean, yeah, I guess the first one was alright and all that, and I'm as
much a fan as Johnny Depp as anyone, but can't we just leave it alone? Are
we all really that interested to know of the FURTHER adventures Capt. Jack
Sparrow? Wasn't it all just a big burlesque in the first place?
Truth be told, I don't care much for sequels. Period. Oh, don't worry - this
isn't going to be one of those tired pieces about Hollywood's "lack of
originality" and the dreary recycling of everything in our culture, and how
this inevitably points to the Fall and Decay of Everything. Nah, I'll leave
that for someone else to write.
No, my problem with sequels is on a much more immediate level. And it lies
in being forced to see (or read about, if it's a book) yet ANOTHER amazing
adventure - or catastrophe - or bizarre circumstance . . . happening to the
same main character, or characters. Now, I know fictional characters are not
real people, but we're asked to invest in them as if they were, and so
there's something not right to me about having either all this misfortune -
or else all these amazing and fantastic adventures - happen YET AGAIN to
these very selfsame people. It just makes me feel bad. Like I want to yell
to the writers, "Enough already! These people have put enough of their life
on the line in the name of our entertainment! Leave them alone - let them
just live out the rest of their lives in peace!"
You know what I'm saying here? I mean come on, John McClane had it pretty
tough on Christmas Eve, trapped in that building with those armed terrorists
and being forced to put the situation right. You mean he's gotta face the
same situation a couple years later with an airplane? Isn't it momentous
enough that Harry Potter survived one dastardly attempt on his life - does
it have to happen every movie? (Seriously, I"ve gotta wonder if that
Hogwarts place is really the safest for him to be.) And how many genetically
reconstituted dinosaurs do Jeff Goldblum's and/or Sam Neil's characters have
to escape from the clutches of before they're able to unwind and just, you
know, get on with their scientific journal articles?
Of course, having written all this, I could just see me getting visited by
some random fictional character - maybe even Johnny's good ol' Captain Jack
himself - saying, in essence, "You don't understand, mate. We're the
fictional. You can't judge us by your rules. We only live WHEN we are given
problems, or catastrophes, or amazing adventures to have. You've got life
all the time. WE only get it in short gulps."
"And so," I ask, "you want to spend it doing exactly the same thing you did
in the first movie?"
"If that's what it will take, yeah."
"Sounds like a paltry existence."
"Who are you to judge."
And he's got me there.
Who knows? Maybe it's the characters we DON'T sequelize that are getting the
bum deal. That by freezing them in only one moment in time we somehow
condemn them to a kind of cinematic pergatory. Perhaps we should awaken
Richard Kimble from this dreadful state by having him framed for the
untimely murder of his brother. Life on the lam did wonders for him the
first time. What about Phil Connors? I'm sure we could find him another
obscure holiday - Arbor Day, perhaps - to live out over and over again, to
help him learn even more life lessons. And you can't tell me that little kid
from 'The sixth Sense' has lost his ability to see dead people, right?
There's got to be another solid story or three just by tracking his life,
and thereby giving him more to do.
Come on, Hollywood, let's get on it! These are MEMORABLE characters - they
deserve better than one measly go-round of the celluloid block. Until their
new stories are forthcoming, though, I guess 'Pirates of the Carribbean 2'
will have to fill the gap . . .
RS
For 15 years I've been listening to Roommate Stephe's personal theories on culture. For the last year I've countering each exposition with the words "blog it." I guess it sunk in. Please give a warm welcome to my Wednesday guest blogger, Roommate Stephe.
Looking ahead to the summer movie season . . .
Everyone seems to be getting excited about the new 'Pirates of the
Carribbean' sequel. But I don't know . . .
I mean, yeah, I guess the first one was alright and all that, and I'm as
much a fan as Johnny Depp as anyone, but can't we just leave it alone? Are
we all really that interested to know of the FURTHER adventures Capt. Jack
Sparrow? Wasn't it all just a big burlesque in the first place?
Truth be told, I don't care much for sequels. Period. Oh, don't worry - this
isn't going to be one of those tired pieces about Hollywood's "lack of
originality" and the dreary recycling of everything in our culture, and how
this inevitably points to the Fall and Decay of Everything. Nah, I'll leave
that for someone else to write.
No, my problem with sequels is on a much more immediate level. And it lies
in being forced to see (or read about, if it's a book) yet ANOTHER amazing
adventure - or catastrophe - or bizarre circumstance . . . happening to the
same main character, or characters. Now, I know fictional characters are not
real people, but we're asked to invest in them as if they were, and so
there's something not right to me about having either all this misfortune -
or else all these amazing and fantastic adventures - happen YET AGAIN to
these very selfsame people. It just makes me feel bad. Like I want to yell
to the writers, "Enough already! These people have put enough of their life
on the line in the name of our entertainment! Leave them alone - let them
just live out the rest of their lives in peace!"
You know what I'm saying here? I mean come on, John McClane had it pretty
tough on Christmas Eve, trapped in that building with those armed terrorists
and being forced to put the situation right. You mean he's gotta face the
same situation a couple years later with an airplane? Isn't it momentous
enough that Harry Potter survived one dastardly attempt on his life - does
it have to happen every movie? (Seriously, I"ve gotta wonder if that
Hogwarts place is really the safest for him to be.) And how many genetically
reconstituted dinosaurs do Jeff Goldblum's and/or Sam Neil's characters have
to escape from the clutches of before they're able to unwind and just, you
know, get on with their scientific journal articles?
Of course, having written all this, I could just see me getting visited by
some random fictional character - maybe even Johnny's good ol' Captain Jack
himself - saying, in essence, "You don't understand, mate. We're the
fictional. You can't judge us by your rules. We only live WHEN we are given
problems, or catastrophes, or amazing adventures to have. You've got life
all the time. WE only get it in short gulps."
"And so," I ask, "you want to spend it doing exactly the same thing you did
in the first movie?"
"If that's what it will take, yeah."
"Sounds like a paltry existence."
"Who are you to judge."
And he's got me there.
Who knows? Maybe it's the characters we DON'T sequelize that are getting the
bum deal. That by freezing them in only one moment in time we somehow
condemn them to a kind of cinematic pergatory. Perhaps we should awaken
Richard Kimble from this dreadful state by having him framed for the
untimely murder of his brother. Life on the lam did wonders for him the
first time. What about Phil Connors? I'm sure we could find him another
obscure holiday - Arbor Day, perhaps - to live out over and over again, to
help him learn even more life lessons. And you can't tell me that little kid
from 'The sixth Sense' has lost his ability to see dead people, right?
There's got to be another solid story or three just by tracking his life,
and thereby giving him more to do.
Come on, Hollywood, let's get on it! These are MEMORABLE characters - they
deserve better than one measly go-round of the celluloid block. Until their
new stories are forthcoming, though, I guess 'Pirates of the Carribbean 2'
will have to fill the gap . . .
RS
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
The Other Summer Movie
While I am immeasurably excited about Superman Returns for religious reason, there's another summer movie I'm pretty big big big big time excited for.
I've always loved Miami Vice, I loved how serious it was. I still love how serious it was. For some reason people who haven't seen it in a while seem to have a conception of it as a "goofy" show just because we don't wear pink shirts and white jackets any more.
The show was so 80's, but it did such an incredible job. I wonder if Miami Vice was so 80's or were the 80's SO Miami Vice? That show is just a cultural juggernaut, like a cultural jet engine that you could drop existing cultural elements into like 80's Genesis and 80's Cocaine and 80's Fashion into and have them accelerated against the wall. People think this movie is going to be bullshit because of how HUGE it was, how it defined the 80's. It was ZEITGEIST in all caps.
People laugh and then you say it's directed by Michael Mann and then they wonder why the director of Collateral would do a Dukes of Hazzard Movie and then you tell them that he did the tv show. The whole strain of logic is weird to many because they never saw Miami Vice for what it was. Super serious. If it's comical for anything it's not for how they dress, it's for how fucking serious they are, but I love it, it is absolutely no less over the top dramatic than CSI. Exact same drama and when it comes to characters between those two shows I'll take Crockett and Tubbs every time. During these years where Michael Mann made all his post-Vice successes every time I went to the theatre all I ever saw was Miami Vice in those movies.
Thief
Manhunter
Heat
Collateral
All Vice
Do you remember Liam Neeson's episode where he plays an IRA bomber? Or Helena Bonham Carter was Crocketts troubled girlfriend. And long before Edward James Olmos was Galacticas humorless Captain he was Crockett & Tubbs' humorless Captain, fighting off the Yakuza demons of his past. Do you remember G. Gordon LIddy? or Bob Balaban as Crockett's Vietnam buddy? Goddamn what a great show. The best episode is Stranger In The Dark, which is basically the template for Manhunter. Crockett get into the mind of a serial killer and goes "too deep." The last scene has him pointing at Polaroids of houses and since he's the killer now, he knows. He's so serious in that last scene, I love it. Penn Jillette, Phil Collins. Bruce Willis who was in an episode with the best dramatic freeze-frame at the end.
Remember when Crockett got amnesia, thought he was a bad guy, and grew his hair long? They were stretching at that point. Remember they had that black car in season 1 and they got really well known for leaning against that black car and then in season 2 the first thing they did, maybe it was a "fuck you" maybe it was just that they wanted to shock their audience, but they go buy rocket launchers from this drug dealer and to test the weapon he fires it at the Spyder. Remember the Vietnam episodes with Bob Balaban where Crockett flashes back, I think G. Gordon Liddy was in that episode. Great episode.
watch the trailer. It's exactly what I expected since I heard Michael Mann was working on it because I've only seen Miami Vice in Heat and Collateral.
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