Hey all, I was working on Short-Haired Chick Friday and got a little frustrated at the dial-up modem. Yeah..., my caretakers, Bart and Martha, the two thirty-year-olds with the eighty-year-old names have been slow getting around to that, but rumor has it the high-speed package is due to arrive in the next few days.
So really I just wanted to check in and say I highly recommend clairedanesfan.com
So I've landed, now the work begins. Jesus...did I just move to L.A.? What the fuck is wrong with me? Couldn't I have just been happy with Chicago? I guess that's not me, maybe if things had worked out differently on several job fronts I'd still be there, but maybe those job fronts were meant to fall apart for this reason.
As I sit here now scared shitless I remember the reason I didn't move to L.A. for many many years. Where would I start once I got here? My goal is to connect with as much industry as possible out here, but what street do they hang out on? Where's the line you stand in? It's all social networking, but where's the party? These things take time. I hate things that take time. A good shit doesn't take time, a good fart even less. Which brings me back to the question I ask the most. Where can I find a job where I can get paid to shit?
Luckily I have some friends who have offered to introduce me to to some other friends who maybe know people who maybe know jobs, so it'll all get going, but right now I'm in that "oh shit, I've made a terrible error" phase. I've burned my ships at the shore, now I have to make this work. Maybe I'll get everything I want out of moving to L.A. tomorrow and be done with it.
Well, I miss you Chicago. It's legendarily not very comfortable and impersonal here, doubly so in somebody else's house while they're at work. It's all very overwhelming right now and I see why so many don't come here. The distance from The Burbank Airport to Bart's house was the distance from Gary, IN to Skokie, and it's all in Los Angeles. Yup...gonna have to get a car... But I'd rather walk to the Bryn Mawr stop, watch another condo get poured, and then ride the train to within a block of where I need to interview for a job.
I got a funny call before I left, which is what I was writing about when my parent's computer crashed. I answer my phone a nervous wreck two days away from moving away from Chicago.
Hi, Adam, this is RANDOM INTERN from the Midwest Independent Film Festival...
The Midwest Independent Film Festival is a festival run by one of my favorite people, MIke McNamara. It used to be super-small and take place at Excalibur on the first Tuesday of every month. Now, a lot of stumping for sponsors by Mike laster, it's much bigger and takes place at The Landmark the first Tuesday of every month. They get some really great talent and Mac is a great host, however, the last 400 Tuesdays of mine have been taken up.
I just wanted to let you know that we're holding a free pass for this Tuesday's event...
At this point, as always, I interrupt to tell him I can't make it.
Oh well, hopefully next month we'll see you come out and support truly independent film...
Usually this is where I say "sure, cool, I'll see." But I was honest with him and said I was moving, to which he said....
You are? You're not moving to Los Angeles are you?
Uh, yeeeeeah...
(sigh), Oooookay (click)
Funny.
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11 comments:
760.401.1836. Give me a call and we can meet up somewhere.
Homey, less thought on what you are going to do and just get yourself acclimated to the west coast style. How do you do that? Party. Go get funked up with Bart and Anglin. You'll be all set!
Ha! I love your style JK, give me anglin's number. Mission: Party.
I disagree. A good shit can last at least an hour, provided you have the right reading materials. Hang tough, you'll get things going.
Not to be crude, but have you considered a career in the lucrative world of scat porn?
Anybody want to hire Fred as a personal encouragement service? I've been subscribing for years and he's always there with a kind word of encouragement, and usually some info on shitting.
Stegman checks in! There's a blast from the past, TP Mafia a'ight! Scat porn pays okay if you're willing to take it in the mouth, but the shitters are paid woefully low and the porspects for a unionization meeting without being met with howls of laughter are slim.
6 months, a year, or 5 years from now, you may look back on this time and see it as the turning point, where you chose to take certain risks, made tough decisions, and kept working toward your ultimate goal. You'll be fine! However, you need to relax a little bit. A good shit can definitely take a half an hour.
Thanks Alan, and thanks everyone for so many positive words of encouragement. I'm blessed to be so well supported, particularly by the Sicentology community which has warmly embraced me here.
Alan, is your number still 852-0852?
Damn Adam, I forgot to give you your vapor soap...
Id like to think my soaps were helping you to achieve your goals.
When you make it big, you can make it trendy by sharing it with spoiled rich starlettes who MUST have it and be seen purchasing it. Sort of like Kate Spade handbags used to be. I'll be rich!
Tell Tom Cruise I think he's a cartoon (and not in a good way) at your next Scientology meeting.
We are all pulling for you. Must be a little odd being around all those people that will never decompose...
wait till you see palm trees swaying in the wind in February under a bright blue sky on a perfect day... I doubt you will be wishing you were standing on the El platform
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