Seriously?
I'm not fucking around.
You think I'm fucking with you?
I am not fucking with you?
Oh, do I have your attention now? Yeah. it's the middle ass by the way.
The ass belongs to one Michelle L'Amour, according to her very sexy website she has "The Ass That Goes Pow!", and uh, it kinda does.
I saw Michelle a long time ago and damn, she's the real deal, a sexual powerhouse. She'll mesmerize you. I didn't know what happened when the lights came up.
Burlesque is pretty powerful. It's amazing all these years later it still gets a lot of guys' boats runnin'. In general it's not my thing, but I have complete respect for the art form. I love how it rides the line of enjoyment of the theatrical and historical exhibition of sex and just being boner time. It's Old School Fred Flintstone, Ralph Cramden Moose Lodge sexiness.
I came back across Michelle because some guy in my office knowing my short-haired chick obsession said "You wanna see sexy, go to The Lavender Cabaret. It's disturbing that point where you know someone you work with way too well because you know who he'd fuck. Ew. Anyway.
Michelle is masterful at the form, the top. She's won contests and is just damn good at Burlesque. I love the name, Michelle L'Amour, such a fantasy name. The way the L's run together, how French it sounds, all fancy and French Maid-ish. I think before Swedish became the standard bearer of sexuality in America it was French. The pre-70's "Swede." I think when burlesque shows were all the rage, French was THE nationality.
This is before we formed out national security policy around hating them. ...does anything make our government look more frat boy than that? Fucking Todd Voorhies is our President. If you don't want to bomb Iraq you're French. Tag! Haha! Burn! Don't go to sleep or I'll write on your forehead.
Stoob: You're fuckin' French dude.
Todd: No I'm not.
Stoob: Do you want to bomb Iraq?
Todd: Well, fuckin', I don't know, did they...
Stoob: You're fuckin' French!
Todd: Am not, okay, let's bomb so we're like each other.
Stoob: You belong Todd!
Todd: Yes! I belong, my brain is now giving you the endorphine for pleasure derived from belonging.
Stoob: Hey, how you votin' on prop 12, you think gays should be allowed to teach?
Todd: Well, sure.
Stoob: FAG!
Todd: Am not!
Stoob: Let's go jack each other off, you know, for the joke!
Todd: Okay.
Okay, don't know how I got there, but as I tell my writing class, sometimes it's just best to let it ride itself out.
Where were we.
Oh yeah.
I think the fact that you can't view this with your boss around shows the power that Burlesque still has. It's not that they're naked, it's that the Burlesque performers of the past have so ingrained in your head what sexy is, that a glance at these images is stronger than if she were just Shannyn Sossamon naked. Oddly it's something you can't look at that was and still is an acceptable amount of nudity.
Way to go John, fuck the one on the right! The ONE ON THE RIGHT! Wait, he's married. THE ONE ON THE RIGHT!
Years ago I read Albert Goldman'sLadies and Gentlemen, Lenny Bruce! Great book, if a little built up and fantasized. Lenny got his start as a host at Burlesque shows. That's the only thing I feel Burlesque shows are missing.
They're not dirty enough. Every time I've seen new Burlesque it always falls short only because of the host, they seem to cast these hosts more out of Cabaret than a real Burlesque show, someday I'd like to see an emulation of a divey Burlesque instead of one of the fancy fancy places.
If you've made it this far obviously you work in a loose environment or the boss is on vacation.
But take an extra look around before you check out this...
And definitely.
Before you check out.
This.
Oh my CHRIST! Just stop it, you're just bad. Bad! You need a spanking...oh, sorry, where are my manners.
Okay, I'm fine.
Oh shit, my manners are fucked.
Last one!
Last one! BEST ONE!
Last one! BEST ONE!
Wow.
So what are you all doing this weekend?
Hm. Improv Fest...the Ass That Goes Pow!, Mad TV writers show...garters. So torn. So very very torn.
Wait! I forgot one. ...the best one?
Otisburg has just gone to hell. I'm a porn blog now. Next week, actual fucking. The hell with it.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Countdown to Superherofest 2006!
I'm starting to feel the rumble. The rumble of the boulder that is the 24 hour Superhero fest the day before Superman returns in Superman Returns. Which I'm assuming is why THIS is finally coming out on DVD!
The friggin' Superboy tv show! Anybody remember this? I've told the story many times but there was a time when two or three multi-hundred million dollar superhero movies came out every year, so people like me who have a genuine love for the genre of the live-action superhero movie had to live with this..
I'm sure it sucks, but I remember it's production value being Captain Power-ific. It was on Saturday afternoons the same time that Shazam had been on when we were kids and I remember late into the last season they started pulling out all the Superman villains, Bizarro and Metallo.
I'll take it over Lois & Clark anyday. I may never actually get around to watching that. The Flash tv show, I'll watch anyday, anytime, but I can always find an excuse to avoid Lois & Clark.
It's so great that all these superhero classics are out on DVD.
I'd be in heaven if I had money to buy all of them. But I will be renting them for the 24 hour fest. I'll be showing the top 7 or 8 superhero films in their entirety, divided up by episodes of Hulk, Wonderman, Shazam, Isis, and SUPERBOY in between. Plus the world famous clipshow, 2 hours of the craziest rare shit I've amassed including the Japanese Spider-Man tv show, the USC Aquaman movie, the Legends of the Superhero's live action tv movie from 1978, the Justice League CBS pilot from 1992, and the Spider-Man pitch reel from some dude in Philadelphia trying to take Toby McGuire's job. Then we'll all go to the theatre to once again believe a man can fly, and I'll probably fall asleep.
The friggin' Superboy tv show! Anybody remember this? I've told the story many times but there was a time when two or three multi-hundred million dollar superhero movies came out every year, so people like me who have a genuine love for the genre of the live-action superhero movie had to live with this..
I'm sure it sucks, but I remember it's production value being Captain Power-ific. It was on Saturday afternoons the same time that Shazam had been on when we were kids and I remember late into the last season they started pulling out all the Superman villains, Bizarro and Metallo.
I'll take it over Lois & Clark anyday. I may never actually get around to watching that. The Flash tv show, I'll watch anyday, anytime, but I can always find an excuse to avoid Lois & Clark.
It's so great that all these superhero classics are out on DVD.
I'd be in heaven if I had money to buy all of them. But I will be renting them for the 24 hour fest. I'll be showing the top 7 or 8 superhero films in their entirety, divided up by episodes of Hulk, Wonderman, Shazam, Isis, and SUPERBOY in between. Plus the world famous clipshow, 2 hours of the craziest rare shit I've amassed including the Japanese Spider-Man tv show, the USC Aquaman movie, the Legends of the Superhero's live action tv movie from 1978, the Justice League CBS pilot from 1992, and the Spider-Man pitch reel from some dude in Philadelphia trying to take Toby McGuire's job. Then we'll all go to the theatre to once again believe a man can fly, and I'll probably fall asleep.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
The Golden Stallion
One of my students passed this article onto me and I liked it a lot. The author wrote a book in which he sat down and watched a movie with a series of famous directors. Quentin Tarantino chose The Golden Stallion a Roy Rogers serial. Seeing the world through the eyes of other artists is always an education. After all what makes them the successful people we know and look up to and enjoy and wish to emulate is not that their geniuses or possess something that we don't, it's that they view the world through a lens we haven't yet trained ourselves to. My favorite analogy is that photographers don't look for good things to photograph, it's that they only see a world of potential photographs. We just see a movie, pap, QT sees something different.
Whoa, Trigger! Auteur Alert! - Quentin Tarantino, William Witney and The Golden Stallion
by Rick Lyman
Hollywood - The six-by-eight-foot flickering rectangle of light turns the white wall to amber above Quentin Tarantino's fireplace. Not far away, back through a Spanish archway, a 16-millimeter projector rattles with a
persistent click that never quite disappears beneath the bleating of the soundtrack, like static on a short-wave radio. "I love this scene," Mr. Tarantino says. "It's a really tough scene, a tough, tough scene. But it's not the kind of scene you expect, all right. The emotion is right out there. But if you buy it, and I totally buy
it, then it can make you cry."
This is the guy who made ear-severing a dance routine, turned sadomasochistic basement torture into comic relief and created the scene where Uma Thurman takes a six-inch hypodermic in the chest. So when the director of "Reservoir Dogs" and "Pulp Fiction," the celebrity prototype for an entire generation of Sundance-bred, film-geek auteurs, tells you that you are about to see a scene that is tough, you listen to him, don't you?
Roy Rogers is standing off to one side, elegant and stoic, with that thin, shiny mouth and those exotic eyes. Dale Evans is a few steps behind him, plump and fretting. A few steps away, the sheriff's men have Trigger, Rogers's famous stallion, held tightly on a rope. Trigger bobs his head up and down, shifts from foot to foot, his preternaturally floppy mane slapping across his forehead. It doesn't look good for the good guys. Rogers and Trigger have been found standing next to the body of a villain whose head has been bashed. We know the horse is innocent, but circumstantial evidence points to Trigger. "In this case, Roy, circumstantial evidence is enough," the sheriff sadly intones.
Yes, Trigger is about to get one between the eyes, right now. There is no court of appeals for killer horses. The screen is suddenly filled with the face of Rogers. Somehow, fear, regret and calculation all begin to wash out of his eyes even though his face doesn't move a muscle. He drops his head, a decision made. "Wait, Sheriff," Rogers says, and then confesses to the killing. "Roy, don't you know what you're doing?" Dale whimpers. He knows. He's saving his best friend from a bullet, even if it means several years on a chain gang for him. Mr. Tarantino leans forward and rests his elbows on his lanky legs, his face riveted to the flickering image on his living room wall where "The Golden Stallion" is playing. He says the film is one of the three or four masterpieces of a now all-but- forgotten journeyman director named William Witney.
Mr. Witney, 85, an Oklahoma native now living in quiet retirement in rural California, is the sweetest fruit of what Mr. Tarantino says has been a year and a half of gorging on film history and B-grade filmmakers. Mr. Tarantino says he had a suspicion that there were "forgotten masters" out there, workaday moviemakers who had carefully chosen their assignments and then transformed them into art, but who had been overlooked in the post-auteur critical landscape.
"People think that the only good westerns made in the 40's and 50's were by John Ford or maybe Howard Hawks," Mr. Tarantino says. "Film guys might add, oh, Anthony Mann and Budd Boetticher and Andre De Toth. But I just had this suspicion that because they didn't make A-list movies or didn't work with A-list stars, a lot of really great masters were getting lost in the shuffle."
So while he was working on the two screenplays that he intends to begin shooting, one after the other, after the first of the year, Mr. Tarantino says he also indulged his film-scholar fantasies and dived into the world of the forgotten genre flicks.
Best Horse and Best Friend
"I've found directors of some of these movies who I'm really into, but William Witney is ahead of them all, the one whose movies I can show to anyone and they are just blown away," Mr. Tarantino says. "He makes you accept everything on his terms, and his terms are that Roy and Trigger are best friends. Trigger is not just his best horse; he's his best friend. You know, in some movies, a cowboy might go to jail to save his best friend from being shot down dead. Well, Trigger is Roy's best friend. It's the easiest leap to have him do that here, yet it's so powerful and so unexpected. What's great is that you buy it, you absolutely buy it, and I don't know that I really would buy it from anybody else but Roy and Trigger."
The idea behind this series is to sit down - with accomplished filmmakers or actors or screenwriters or cinematographers, people who have contributed something to the history of film - and simply watch a movie,
not one of their own films, but someone else's, a film that has some special resonance for them. Perhaps it was a film they saw as a teenager, something that inspired them or has grown mysteriously in their estimation over the years, or maybe something like this, something they have stumbled across with shocked delight. The goal is to get some sort of understanding of how film artists absorb the movies they love, and how those movies have informed their own work. Instead of just another profile about the last project or the most recent award or the next big deal, this is to be about the work. That's the idea. And so Mr. Tarantino, champion of everything from B- grade 1950's genres to 70's black exploitation to life as a bitter and ironic cocktail, was asked what he wanted to watch and he said, "The Golden Stallion," a 1949 minifeature from the days of the Saturday morning cowboy serials, neither bitter nor ironic. Tough? Quentin Tarantino thinks so. You think you know better?
Jungle Girls to Cowboys
"The thing about William Witney is that he was really a director of genre movies," Mr. Tarantino says. "He started making serials in the late 1930's, and he made some of the best of them, from the Dick Tracy ones to Spy Smasher to Jungle Girl. And when they stopped making serials, he moved over to Saturday morning cowboy pictures and did pretty much everything Roy Rogers shot between the late 40's and the early 50's"-when Rogers stopped making movies and shifted to television. As the lanky Mr. Tarantino grows more effusive about his subject, he also becomes more mobile, pivoting on his hips as he chatters, then leaping up to pace the room, peppering his long, fast sentences with earnest expletives like "all right" and "cool." The faster he talks, the
faster he walks. The more intricate his sentences, the more baroque his gestures.
"When they stopped making Saturday morning cowboy pictures in the 50's, when Republic Pictures closed down, he moved over and made juvenile delinquent films, and they are some of the best of those movies ever made," Mr. Tarantino says. "And when they stopped making those, he moved over and did some rock 'n' roll movies in the 60's. He flirted with the A list a couple of times, but mostly he was a guy who moved from one B-list genre to another, all right, for something like 40 years. And all the while he is churning out TV shows. He did a ton of "Bonanza" and episodes for almost every western of the period. And do you know what his last movie was? A black exploitation flick in the 70's. He ended with "Darktown Strutters" in 1975, about a female black motorcycle gang. I think it's so cool that he began as the king of the cowboy serials and he ended with a black
exploitation film. That's a career, man."
A spokesman for McFarland and Company, which published Mr. Witney's 1995 memoirs about his years as a serial director-"In a Door, Into a Fight, Out a Door, Into a Chase"-said that Mr. Witney had suffered a stroke a few years ago and was not able to be interviewed, but that he had been informed about Mr. Tarantino's interest in his work.
Common Decency
The rap on Mr. Tarantino, 37, is that he doesn't make as many movies as he should; years and years come between his films. It's been three years since his most recent, "Jackie Brown," and that one was a long time coming. This is all just about to change, he promises. One of his new projects is a tasty little noirish thriller starring Uma Thurman. "My fans are gonna love this one," he says. "They've been waiting a long time, and I think they're really going to happy with it." The other is a big, epic World War II adventure; he is just now trimming and polishing the screenplay.
Yet what does this very deliberate filmmaker, who spent a lot of his time in the last decade trying to generate an acting career, find to love about a true Hollywood salaryman like William Witney, who was making
five movies a year when "The Golden Stallion" came out? The flickering image shifts: Rogers is off in prison now. There was no last-minute reprieve. He had to do his time, and hard time it was. Not only that, but he also had to watch as Trigger became the property of the bad guys. And yet he never became bitter. Mr. Tarantino finds it odd that this is so moving to him.
"Normally, I would be drawn to movies where a good-guy Roy Rogers character becomes corrupted through life," Mr. Tarantino says, transfixed on the screen again. "In one of my movies, this guy would probably have come out of prison wanting to kill somebody. And he would kill somebody-while riding Trigger. "Nowadays, Roy Rogers seems almost too good, but you buy it from him somehow. I find myself being moved by his common decency. Life's events and other people's actions have no effect on him and his heart. He didn't save Trigger to become a bitter man; he did it because it was what he had to do. His code is his code. The whole world can change, and it doesn't change his code."
Mr. Tarantino first came across Mr. Witney's work when he watched an old print of "The Bonnie Parker Story" (1958), a kind of juvenile delinquent movie set in the Depression, with Dorothy Provine playing the infamous gangster. "I was blown away," he says, "It was like, whoa, who made this? I have to see everything he ever did." And so began the hunt for the half-forgotten works of Mr. Witney. One after another, he found them, watched them and, with one or two exceptions, found them absolutely riveting, the work of a real lost master, just what he had been looking for. He has whittled Mr. Witney's oeuvre-more than 100 films from 1937 to 1975 - into what he considers to be his four greatest masterpieces. The earliest is "The Golden Stallion." Then comes "Stranger at My Door" (1956), another western, this time with Macdonald Carey playing a frontier preacher whose homestead is invaded by a robber on the lam. ("I showed this to a group of friends, all film people, and it just blew them away," Mr. Tarantino says. "We talked about it for hours afterward.") Then "The Bonnie Parker Story" and, in 1959, "Paratroop Command," a realistic World War II adventure about a platoon pariah who has to prove himself.
'Dropping Like Flies'
"I was showing 'Paratroop Command' to Peter Bogdanovich one day, and there comes this moment in the film where he goes, like, hey, wait a minute, what the heck is happening?," Mr. Tarantino says. "These guys, who
you've been getting to know throughout the movie, suddenly start dying. And I don't mean a big, glamorous cinema death. They're just dropping like flies, unceremoniously. It's so realistic. You know that it was a movie
made by a guy who had been there. William Witney was in the Marines in World War II for something like five years."
The projector is still clicking away, and the wall above the fireplace is filled with motion. Trigger is running through a broad valley, the sun backlighting his mane and a team of wild horses following behind. Dale Evans, in voice-over, is reading a letter she is writing to Rogers, back on the chain gang. "I find this so poetic, so beautiful," Mr.
Tarantino says. "The letter is beautifully written, her delivery is great, and these images of the wild horses are just stunning. Wait, I want to run it back."
He jumps up and runs back to the projector and rewinds to catch the last few minutes again. Appreciating William Witney begins with understanding what he did with Roy Rogers, Mr. Tarantino says. "Roy's movies at this time had turned into these sort of western musicals, like frontier jamborees, where he's singing and walking around in outfits with fringes," Mr. Tarantino says. "After their first few movies together, Witney had gotten Roy out of his fringe-and-sparkle attire and was dressing him in normal attire, blue jeans and stuff. They stopped being these crazy musicals. He turned them into rough, tough violent adventures. Audiences loved it. Nobody had ever seen Roy fight like that, so it was kind of cool to everyone that he was such a good fistfighter. And a fistfight in a William Witney movie is a fistfight. They're tough. People get bloody noses."
Mr. Tarantino says he admires Mr. Witney for his rough and believable action scenes, but also for his taste, as shown in his choice of assignments over the years. He compares him to Howard Hawks, a director who spanned genres but managed to bring something of himself to each of them. "It shows you how important taste is," he says.
A Visual Stylist
And there is something unpretentious about the way Mr. Witney worked that appeals to the young director.
"He's a visual stylist, but he's a visual stylist in the way that a lot of those guys were back then," Mr. Tarantino says. "It's always about moving the camera like 'Hey, Mom, look, I'm directing.' He was clever about camera movement. One of the things I got from looking at his films is that the camera movements are so elegant. You have to have made movies for 30 years to be able to move the camera so unpretentiously. His camera movements, when they happen, are so cool. They're either completely artful, in a cool, don't- call-attention-to-yourself kind of way, or they're visually about how to tell the story. These guys were storytellers. They
knew how to move the camera to convey information so they didn't have to shoot another dialogue scene to explain something."
And something else has jumped out at Mr. Tarantino. "Look at the way he uses Trigger in this film," he says. "William Witney is the greatest director when it comes to working with animals. In his films, if there's an animal, it's another character in the movie. If a homesteader has a dog, it's not just yapping in the background. You get to
know this dog; you might even follow it on its own little adventure in the middle of the movie. And 'Golden Stallion' is his masterpiece when it comes to working with animals, perhaps because he's working with Trigger, the greatest animal actor who ever was."
A Noble Pursuit
In the long run, Mr. Tarantino says, he hopes Mr. Witney has influenced him in subtle ways, perhaps helping him build his instinct for when to move the camera and how. He did, while still in the first flush of admiration for Mr. Witney's work, write two animal scenes into his World War II epic, though he says that the script has grown too long and byzantine and must be trimmed back and that both of the animal scenes, sadly, will probably have to go. In one, a refugee girl hiding in a barn is attacked by rats and saved by a dog; in the other, a soldier separated from his platoon finds and befriends a runaway horse. Never to be filmed, he says with a shrug: "That's the way it goes." Has this year in the film-scholar trenches been worth it? These are, after all, years in which Mr. Tarantino could have been making a lot of money and a lot of films.
"This is a very noble pursuit," he says. "I've turned quite a few friends on to William Witney, so he lives through us, at least." It's easy, he knows, to "get hung up on somebody when you do something like this," and perhaps exaggerate a filmmaker's gifts or importance. But he has thought about it and really believes that Mr. Witney
is the genuine article. So has it been worth it? Yes. "You know, in this business right now, there are a whole lot of
people making movies to pay for their incredibly extravagant lifestyle," he says. "There's just a whole lot of that going on. I'm not judging, but that's not why I came here, to make movies to pay for my pool. I never want
to have to do that, and I don't have to do that. But you know, if you come at this as though it's a religion, as opposed to a job, then sometimes you have to keep close to God a little. That's what this last year was. It was
my way of renewing myself."
Whoa, Trigger! Auteur Alert! - Quentin Tarantino, William Witney and The Golden Stallion
by Rick Lyman
Hollywood - The six-by-eight-foot flickering rectangle of light turns the white wall to amber above Quentin Tarantino's fireplace. Not far away, back through a Spanish archway, a 16-millimeter projector rattles with a
persistent click that never quite disappears beneath the bleating of the soundtrack, like static on a short-wave radio. "I love this scene," Mr. Tarantino says. "It's a really tough scene, a tough, tough scene. But it's not the kind of scene you expect, all right. The emotion is right out there. But if you buy it, and I totally buy
it, then it can make you cry."
This is the guy who made ear-severing a dance routine, turned sadomasochistic basement torture into comic relief and created the scene where Uma Thurman takes a six-inch hypodermic in the chest. So when the director of "Reservoir Dogs" and "Pulp Fiction," the celebrity prototype for an entire generation of Sundance-bred, film-geek auteurs, tells you that you are about to see a scene that is tough, you listen to him, don't you?
Roy Rogers is standing off to one side, elegant and stoic, with that thin, shiny mouth and those exotic eyes. Dale Evans is a few steps behind him, plump and fretting. A few steps away, the sheriff's men have Trigger, Rogers's famous stallion, held tightly on a rope. Trigger bobs his head up and down, shifts from foot to foot, his preternaturally floppy mane slapping across his forehead. It doesn't look good for the good guys. Rogers and Trigger have been found standing next to the body of a villain whose head has been bashed. We know the horse is innocent, but circumstantial evidence points to Trigger. "In this case, Roy, circumstantial evidence is enough," the sheriff sadly intones.
Yes, Trigger is about to get one between the eyes, right now. There is no court of appeals for killer horses. The screen is suddenly filled with the face of Rogers. Somehow, fear, regret and calculation all begin to wash out of his eyes even though his face doesn't move a muscle. He drops his head, a decision made. "Wait, Sheriff," Rogers says, and then confesses to the killing. "Roy, don't you know what you're doing?" Dale whimpers. He knows. He's saving his best friend from a bullet, even if it means several years on a chain gang for him. Mr. Tarantino leans forward and rests his elbows on his lanky legs, his face riveted to the flickering image on his living room wall where "The Golden Stallion" is playing. He says the film is one of the three or four masterpieces of a now all-but- forgotten journeyman director named William Witney.
Mr. Witney, 85, an Oklahoma native now living in quiet retirement in rural California, is the sweetest fruit of what Mr. Tarantino says has been a year and a half of gorging on film history and B-grade filmmakers. Mr. Tarantino says he had a suspicion that there were "forgotten masters" out there, workaday moviemakers who had carefully chosen their assignments and then transformed them into art, but who had been overlooked in the post-auteur critical landscape.
"People think that the only good westerns made in the 40's and 50's were by John Ford or maybe Howard Hawks," Mr. Tarantino says. "Film guys might add, oh, Anthony Mann and Budd Boetticher and Andre De Toth. But I just had this suspicion that because they didn't make A-list movies or didn't work with A-list stars, a lot of really great masters were getting lost in the shuffle."
So while he was working on the two screenplays that he intends to begin shooting, one after the other, after the first of the year, Mr. Tarantino says he also indulged his film-scholar fantasies and dived into the world of the forgotten genre flicks.
Best Horse and Best Friend
"I've found directors of some of these movies who I'm really into, but William Witney is ahead of them all, the one whose movies I can show to anyone and they are just blown away," Mr. Tarantino says. "He makes you accept everything on his terms, and his terms are that Roy and Trigger are best friends. Trigger is not just his best horse; he's his best friend. You know, in some movies, a cowboy might go to jail to save his best friend from being shot down dead. Well, Trigger is Roy's best friend. It's the easiest leap to have him do that here, yet it's so powerful and so unexpected. What's great is that you buy it, you absolutely buy it, and I don't know that I really would buy it from anybody else but Roy and Trigger."
The idea behind this series is to sit down - with accomplished filmmakers or actors or screenwriters or cinematographers, people who have contributed something to the history of film - and simply watch a movie,
not one of their own films, but someone else's, a film that has some special resonance for them. Perhaps it was a film they saw as a teenager, something that inspired them or has grown mysteriously in their estimation over the years, or maybe something like this, something they have stumbled across with shocked delight. The goal is to get some sort of understanding of how film artists absorb the movies they love, and how those movies have informed their own work. Instead of just another profile about the last project or the most recent award or the next big deal, this is to be about the work. That's the idea. And so Mr. Tarantino, champion of everything from B- grade 1950's genres to 70's black exploitation to life as a bitter and ironic cocktail, was asked what he wanted to watch and he said, "The Golden Stallion," a 1949 minifeature from the days of the Saturday morning cowboy serials, neither bitter nor ironic. Tough? Quentin Tarantino thinks so. You think you know better?
Jungle Girls to Cowboys
"The thing about William Witney is that he was really a director of genre movies," Mr. Tarantino says. "He started making serials in the late 1930's, and he made some of the best of them, from the Dick Tracy ones to Spy Smasher to Jungle Girl. And when they stopped making serials, he moved over to Saturday morning cowboy pictures and did pretty much everything Roy Rogers shot between the late 40's and the early 50's"-when Rogers stopped making movies and shifted to television. As the lanky Mr. Tarantino grows more effusive about his subject, he also becomes more mobile, pivoting on his hips as he chatters, then leaping up to pace the room, peppering his long, fast sentences with earnest expletives like "all right" and "cool." The faster he talks, the
faster he walks. The more intricate his sentences, the more baroque his gestures.
"When they stopped making Saturday morning cowboy pictures in the 50's, when Republic Pictures closed down, he moved over and made juvenile delinquent films, and they are some of the best of those movies ever made," Mr. Tarantino says. "And when they stopped making those, he moved over and did some rock 'n' roll movies in the 60's. He flirted with the A list a couple of times, but mostly he was a guy who moved from one B-list genre to another, all right, for something like 40 years. And all the while he is churning out TV shows. He did a ton of "Bonanza" and episodes for almost every western of the period. And do you know what his last movie was? A black exploitation flick in the 70's. He ended with "Darktown Strutters" in 1975, about a female black motorcycle gang. I think it's so cool that he began as the king of the cowboy serials and he ended with a black
exploitation film. That's a career, man."
A spokesman for McFarland and Company, which published Mr. Witney's 1995 memoirs about his years as a serial director-"In a Door, Into a Fight, Out a Door, Into a Chase"-said that Mr. Witney had suffered a stroke a few years ago and was not able to be interviewed, but that he had been informed about Mr. Tarantino's interest in his work.
Common Decency
The rap on Mr. Tarantino, 37, is that he doesn't make as many movies as he should; years and years come between his films. It's been three years since his most recent, "Jackie Brown," and that one was a long time coming. This is all just about to change, he promises. One of his new projects is a tasty little noirish thriller starring Uma Thurman. "My fans are gonna love this one," he says. "They've been waiting a long time, and I think they're really going to happy with it." The other is a big, epic World War II adventure; he is just now trimming and polishing the screenplay.
Yet what does this very deliberate filmmaker, who spent a lot of his time in the last decade trying to generate an acting career, find to love about a true Hollywood salaryman like William Witney, who was making
five movies a year when "The Golden Stallion" came out? The flickering image shifts: Rogers is off in prison now. There was no last-minute reprieve. He had to do his time, and hard time it was. Not only that, but he also had to watch as Trigger became the property of the bad guys. And yet he never became bitter. Mr. Tarantino finds it odd that this is so moving to him.
"Normally, I would be drawn to movies where a good-guy Roy Rogers character becomes corrupted through life," Mr. Tarantino says, transfixed on the screen again. "In one of my movies, this guy would probably have come out of prison wanting to kill somebody. And he would kill somebody-while riding Trigger. "Nowadays, Roy Rogers seems almost too good, but you buy it from him somehow. I find myself being moved by his common decency. Life's events and other people's actions have no effect on him and his heart. He didn't save Trigger to become a bitter man; he did it because it was what he had to do. His code is his code. The whole world can change, and it doesn't change his code."
Mr. Tarantino first came across Mr. Witney's work when he watched an old print of "The Bonnie Parker Story" (1958), a kind of juvenile delinquent movie set in the Depression, with Dorothy Provine playing the infamous gangster. "I was blown away," he says, "It was like, whoa, who made this? I have to see everything he ever did." And so began the hunt for the half-forgotten works of Mr. Witney. One after another, he found them, watched them and, with one or two exceptions, found them absolutely riveting, the work of a real lost master, just what he had been looking for. He has whittled Mr. Witney's oeuvre-more than 100 films from 1937 to 1975 - into what he considers to be his four greatest masterpieces. The earliest is "The Golden Stallion." Then comes "Stranger at My Door" (1956), another western, this time with Macdonald Carey playing a frontier preacher whose homestead is invaded by a robber on the lam. ("I showed this to a group of friends, all film people, and it just blew them away," Mr. Tarantino says. "We talked about it for hours afterward.") Then "The Bonnie Parker Story" and, in 1959, "Paratroop Command," a realistic World War II adventure about a platoon pariah who has to prove himself.
'Dropping Like Flies'
"I was showing 'Paratroop Command' to Peter Bogdanovich one day, and there comes this moment in the film where he goes, like, hey, wait a minute, what the heck is happening?," Mr. Tarantino says. "These guys, who
you've been getting to know throughout the movie, suddenly start dying. And I don't mean a big, glamorous cinema death. They're just dropping like flies, unceremoniously. It's so realistic. You know that it was a movie
made by a guy who had been there. William Witney was in the Marines in World War II for something like five years."
The projector is still clicking away, and the wall above the fireplace is filled with motion. Trigger is running through a broad valley, the sun backlighting his mane and a team of wild horses following behind. Dale Evans, in voice-over, is reading a letter she is writing to Rogers, back on the chain gang. "I find this so poetic, so beautiful," Mr.
Tarantino says. "The letter is beautifully written, her delivery is great, and these images of the wild horses are just stunning. Wait, I want to run it back."
He jumps up and runs back to the projector and rewinds to catch the last few minutes again. Appreciating William Witney begins with understanding what he did with Roy Rogers, Mr. Tarantino says. "Roy's movies at this time had turned into these sort of western musicals, like frontier jamborees, where he's singing and walking around in outfits with fringes," Mr. Tarantino says. "After their first few movies together, Witney had gotten Roy out of his fringe-and-sparkle attire and was dressing him in normal attire, blue jeans and stuff. They stopped being these crazy musicals. He turned them into rough, tough violent adventures. Audiences loved it. Nobody had ever seen Roy fight like that, so it was kind of cool to everyone that he was such a good fistfighter. And a fistfight in a William Witney movie is a fistfight. They're tough. People get bloody noses."
Mr. Tarantino says he admires Mr. Witney for his rough and believable action scenes, but also for his taste, as shown in his choice of assignments over the years. He compares him to Howard Hawks, a director who spanned genres but managed to bring something of himself to each of them. "It shows you how important taste is," he says.
A Visual Stylist
And there is something unpretentious about the way Mr. Witney worked that appeals to the young director.
"He's a visual stylist, but he's a visual stylist in the way that a lot of those guys were back then," Mr. Tarantino says. "It's always about moving the camera like 'Hey, Mom, look, I'm directing.' He was clever about camera movement. One of the things I got from looking at his films is that the camera movements are so elegant. You have to have made movies for 30 years to be able to move the camera so unpretentiously. His camera movements, when they happen, are so cool. They're either completely artful, in a cool, don't- call-attention-to-yourself kind of way, or they're visually about how to tell the story. These guys were storytellers. They
knew how to move the camera to convey information so they didn't have to shoot another dialogue scene to explain something."
And something else has jumped out at Mr. Tarantino. "Look at the way he uses Trigger in this film," he says. "William Witney is the greatest director when it comes to working with animals. In his films, if there's an animal, it's another character in the movie. If a homesteader has a dog, it's not just yapping in the background. You get to
know this dog; you might even follow it on its own little adventure in the middle of the movie. And 'Golden Stallion' is his masterpiece when it comes to working with animals, perhaps because he's working with Trigger, the greatest animal actor who ever was."
A Noble Pursuit
In the long run, Mr. Tarantino says, he hopes Mr. Witney has influenced him in subtle ways, perhaps helping him build his instinct for when to move the camera and how. He did, while still in the first flush of admiration for Mr. Witney's work, write two animal scenes into his World War II epic, though he says that the script has grown too long and byzantine and must be trimmed back and that both of the animal scenes, sadly, will probably have to go. In one, a refugee girl hiding in a barn is attacked by rats and saved by a dog; in the other, a soldier separated from his platoon finds and befriends a runaway horse. Never to be filmed, he says with a shrug: "That's the way it goes." Has this year in the film-scholar trenches been worth it? These are, after all, years in which Mr. Tarantino could have been making a lot of money and a lot of films.
"This is a very noble pursuit," he says. "I've turned quite a few friends on to William Witney, so he lives through us, at least." It's easy, he knows, to "get hung up on somebody when you do something like this," and perhaps exaggerate a filmmaker's gifts or importance. But he has thought about it and really believes that Mr. Witney
is the genuine article. So has it been worth it? Yes. "You know, in this business right now, there are a whole lot of
people making movies to pay for their incredibly extravagant lifestyle," he says. "There's just a whole lot of that going on. I'm not judging, but that's not why I came here, to make movies to pay for my pool. I never want
to have to do that, and I don't have to do that. But you know, if you come at this as though it's a religion, as opposed to a job, then sometimes you have to keep close to God a little. That's what this last year was. It was
my way of renewing myself."
Just Saw The Weirdest Thing
I came up from having lunch at the West Egg in the basement of the Daley Center and in the lobby they had a stage and 40 chairs set up filled with 10 asleep, or incoherent octogenarians. They are watching a single woman on stage breakdown and cry as she says "my baby, my baby, there's not water for my baby, my baby will die." and on and on, crying and acting. It turns out they're putting on a one-woman show re-enacting the Albanian Holocaust. It's Albanian Heritage month. It was the most surreal thing. Just one woman going on and on about her baby dying, on mic, echoing through the Daley Center with 10 old people in this empty audience. Very weird.
Grindhouse!!!
Coming soon from Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino a two part film anthology that creates the feeling of going to a Grindhouse theatre in the 1970's complete with trailers of other movies shot by Rodriguez and Tarantino. The only title I've heard for one of the fake movies is Tarantino's "Swedish Schoolgirls in Love" (I think that's correct), but the cool people over at Ain't It Cool News published the cover to the script that Tarantino just turned in for his segment of the film entitled "Death Proof."
That completely kicks ass. Very exciting time. If it's true, if what they say is true, that you're the one, it's a very exciting time.
That completely kicks ass. Very exciting time. If it's true, if what they say is true, that you're the one, it's a very exciting time.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Sure, but that guy's a dick.
For those who missed 60 minutes, ANOTHER ex-CIA agent went on and said AGAIN that Bush was repeatedly warned that there were no Weapons of Mass Destruction. Now we get to play my favorite game: "Sure he said that, but that guys a dick." Will the administration counteract this damning testimony by proving their case with facts? Or will they call him a dick and you just can't trust the opinion of a dick? When will Republicans start viewing lying behavior as indicative of lying? If I spent two years doing everything but proving that I didn't take the cookie from the cookie jar, but rather digging into the past of my accusers "would you really trust the opinion of someone who smoked pot in 1977?" I think we'd all think I'm guilty. For some reason that standard logic never works when the necessary Gods and Masters of those needing of mastery whether it be God, Jesus, or Bush.
Joe Wilson says there's no Uranium from Niger - sure, but that guy's a dick. Richard Clarke publishes a book on the fervor to attack Iraq since the day they came to office - sure, but that guy's a dick. John Murtha, respected war vet and Democratic hawk with vast ties to insiders in the Pentagon says the war's not going well - yeah, but that guy's a dick. Leaks on CIA secret prisons and wiretapping, from dicks. 8 retired Generals call for Rumsfelds firing, dicks.
How's the joke go? Abusive husband's wife catches him screwing another woman - "Who you gonna believe? Me? Or your lying eyes?" Something like that.
So how will they turn Drumheller into a dick? No book to publish so they can't use that "publicity seeking" angle. Maybe prove that he gave money to Kerry? Maybe they'll use the word "shifty-eyed" as they did hundreds of times with Gore. In a day we'll have the talking point and magically Chris Matthews and Katie Couric will say something very similar. Perhaps a panel of Republicans will be amassed to discuss it on CNN. One thing's for sure, they won't counter it with facts. Are you really going to listen to this dick? Dicks are not worth listening to, and here's why he's a dick. Meanwhile no attempt to prove themselves right, just that the other guy sucks. Hilarious. Well, 2,400 are dead, and Tommy's there, so, kinda not.
Joe Wilson says there's no Uranium from Niger - sure, but that guy's a dick. Richard Clarke publishes a book on the fervor to attack Iraq since the day they came to office - sure, but that guy's a dick. John Murtha, respected war vet and Democratic hawk with vast ties to insiders in the Pentagon says the war's not going well - yeah, but that guy's a dick. Leaks on CIA secret prisons and wiretapping, from dicks. 8 retired Generals call for Rumsfelds firing, dicks.
How's the joke go? Abusive husband's wife catches him screwing another woman - "Who you gonna believe? Me? Or your lying eyes?" Something like that.
So how will they turn Drumheller into a dick? No book to publish so they can't use that "publicity seeking" angle. Maybe prove that he gave money to Kerry? Maybe they'll use the word "shifty-eyed" as they did hundreds of times with Gore. In a day we'll have the talking point and magically Chris Matthews and Katie Couric will say something very similar. Perhaps a panel of Republicans will be amassed to discuss it on CNN. One thing's for sure, they won't counter it with facts. Are you really going to listen to this dick? Dicks are not worth listening to, and here's why he's a dick. Meanwhile no attempt to prove themselves right, just that the other guy sucks. Hilarious. Well, 2,400 are dead, and Tommy's there, so, kinda not.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Brought
Wow, what a show last night. That was the first show we'd ever done at the Gallery Cabaret, and the second variety show style show we've done, and yet that show felt like we'd done it 100 times. Perhaps it was the Cafe' Ashie feel that the bar had with a stage in the back with a mural of the city or the local flavor of regular customers who didn't come for comedy. Perhaps I felt it more after the show when the place felt a lot like the Red Line Tap which we went to after every Heartland Show for two straight years. A couple people asked where Justin's wife, Julie was, for all I know she's out of the country but I know Julie often will skip Schadenfreude shows and when people ask why all I can saw is - Red Line Tap, Heartland, two straight years.
And the video that Steve Delahoyde took, good God it looks great. That camera of his is incredible and he REALLY knows how to use it. Great shots, great look. I'll have a couple segments on screening room (one maybe even later today). I put the tapes back in my camera after the show and replayed the show on the tv's and then proceeded to DROP MY 6 YEAR OLD CAMERA 6 FEET OFF THE TV STAND! I just can't believe that fucking camera still works.
But the story of the night was the fact that not only Carla, but Jessie (her girlfriend) cut their hair short! And Jessie cut hers way short. Very cute. Say, that reminds me.
IT'S SHORT-HAIRED CHICK FRIDAY!!!
Where are my manners.
Okay, manners are gone. Look at that hair, so short.
Yes, Shannyn Sossamon, because you could never become a famous actress by being named something so Kansas as Shannon. This is why we're losing Democrats.
Your welcome, world.
Do you remember the story? After all no hot new actor/actress is an actor/actress, they're a story. No indie film is a film, it's a story. Before she started acting, she was PR. The story? This complete unknown regulare gal who was just eeking it out as a dj was just plucked magically out of her dayjob and put in a $100million dollar movie. See it can happen to you, yes you, nobody.
Providing you have an agent, have been modeling for years, are a known commodity already, and are friends with Bruce Paltrow who then hires you to dj a party for his daughter Gwyneth.
And you look like that. Not to belittle the accomplishment or her tits. Wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been stumping.
Hey, that's Carla's haircut, and sometimes fashion choice. The preferred cut of the modern short-haired chick.
Boyin' it up. I'll take it. Of course I will.
Boyin' it up more. She pulls it off very well.
So natural.
That is the very definition of rollover hot. You just woke up after going a couple rounds, she's in her night shirt, having her first morning smoke, and without a bit of makeup or even taking a shower, you'd go another two rounds with her.
Is your boss around? Check before you scroll to the next one.
And oh my Christ. Make sure your boss is not even in this state before you scroll down.
Are you ready?
Are you sure?
Short hair + no clothes + flavor of the day in your pants =
boom. brought.
And the video that Steve Delahoyde took, good God it looks great. That camera of his is incredible and he REALLY knows how to use it. Great shots, great look. I'll have a couple segments on screening room (one maybe even later today). I put the tapes back in my camera after the show and replayed the show on the tv's and then proceeded to DROP MY 6 YEAR OLD CAMERA 6 FEET OFF THE TV STAND! I just can't believe that fucking camera still works.
But the story of the night was the fact that not only Carla, but Jessie (her girlfriend) cut their hair short! And Jessie cut hers way short. Very cute. Say, that reminds me.
IT'S SHORT-HAIRED CHICK FRIDAY!!!
Where are my manners.
Okay, manners are gone. Look at that hair, so short.
Yes, Shannyn Sossamon, because you could never become a famous actress by being named something so Kansas as Shannon. This is why we're losing Democrats.
Your welcome, world.
Do you remember the story? After all no hot new actor/actress is an actor/actress, they're a story. No indie film is a film, it's a story. Before she started acting, she was PR. The story? This complete unknown regulare gal who was just eeking it out as a dj was just plucked magically out of her dayjob and put in a $100million dollar movie. See it can happen to you, yes you, nobody.
Providing you have an agent, have been modeling for years, are a known commodity already, and are friends with Bruce Paltrow who then hires you to dj a party for his daughter Gwyneth.
And you look like that. Not to belittle the accomplishment or her tits. Wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been stumping.
Hey, that's Carla's haircut, and sometimes fashion choice. The preferred cut of the modern short-haired chick.
Boyin' it up. I'll take it. Of course I will.
Boyin' it up more. She pulls it off very well.
So natural.
That is the very definition of rollover hot. You just woke up after going a couple rounds, she's in her night shirt, having her first morning smoke, and without a bit of makeup or even taking a shower, you'd go another two rounds with her.
Is your boss around? Check before you scroll to the next one.
And oh my Christ. Make sure your boss is not even in this state before you scroll down.
Are you ready?
Are you sure?
Short hair + no clothes + flavor of the day in your pants =
boom. brought.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Who's Up For A Fucking Show Tonight!
We went through the whole show last night, this is going to be a packed evening of entertainment. You're going to love the venue and the old school Schadenfreude feel of a bunch of friends together to jam out. More closing night ceremonies at the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame than comedy show. If we pack the place we might just get the keys to the bar and put on more and more of these. Schadenfreude on a regular show sched? It's been a while.
And now, the bits, Justin style written on the El, the fucking El.
ARGH! The fucking El.
No, scratch that, the fucking me. If I get on the El at 7:55, I get downtown in 20 minutes. If I get on at 8:05, I get downtown in about an hour. Without fail. Every day. Every time. I'm just sitting here right now and haven't moved in a full five minutes (at which time we moved several feet, just enough justify being transit). I'm always just sitting here when I get on after 8. It drives me nuts, not because it's some weird phenonmena, but because I know this is the peril of being ten minutes later, it happens every time.
Uncommon Ground
That one guy at Uncommon Ground looks like Seth Green. Just calling it out. Everytime I go there I know the Seth Green guy works there and yet I'm never prepared to see him, or prepared for how much he looks like Seth Green. Anyone with me on this? If you've been there you're laughing right now, but if you haven't just keep it in mind for the next time you go. One of the best cups of coffee and breakfast you can have in Chicago, my favorite. Everytime I bring a new person to Uncommon Ground, the first thing they say is "Hey that guy looks just like Seth Green." I find it very funny that not a single person has failed to make that comment.
Wasn't Max Headroom great?
Just a lot of joy there. What's the new Max Headroom?
This may seem overly cruel.
But the guys that work at the Walgreens on Broadway and Ridge in Edgewater are all retarded. I've never seen such a collection of misfits in my life. I know I shouldn't say that, but I'm always surprised at the next guy to wait on me. And the next customer in front of me in line to do that bit where they take a ridiculously long time. Will it be the guy who has to go back to get something he forgot? The counting pennies guy? The couple who can't find the coupon in the flyer and must search for it at the counter? Nothing's for certain at the Wal except that the guy at the counter just might be legitimately retarded. Or look like John Bolton.
What I learned in the Red Eye today
Okay, I'm going to guess what the headline on the Red Eye is about. All I can read is "Ace Closed." So I'm assuming the Ace awards (the award for cable excellence) were last night and somebody won. But wait, do the Ace awards still exist? Why would the Red Eye report the Ace awards? Don't cable shows win Emmy's now? Allright, next line: "Good looks only get 'idol' so far...", OH, it was about American Idol, thanks for playing Adam. That's right, it's the Red Eye, of course it was about American Idol. I lose. Wait, no, not me...what is it, oh yeah, society, society loses.
The sub-heading after that is "who in the heck picked Pickler?" I don't know the answer to that. Some fucking asshole?
I wrote this entire blog between Addison and Belmont...yep, that bad.
And now, the bits, Justin style written on the El, the fucking El.
ARGH! The fucking El.
No, scratch that, the fucking me. If I get on the El at 7:55, I get downtown in 20 minutes. If I get on at 8:05, I get downtown in about an hour. Without fail. Every day. Every time. I'm just sitting here right now and haven't moved in a full five minutes (at which time we moved several feet, just enough justify being transit). I'm always just sitting here when I get on after 8. It drives me nuts, not because it's some weird phenonmena, but because I know this is the peril of being ten minutes later, it happens every time.
Uncommon Ground
That one guy at Uncommon Ground looks like Seth Green. Just calling it out. Everytime I go there I know the Seth Green guy works there and yet I'm never prepared to see him, or prepared for how much he looks like Seth Green. Anyone with me on this? If you've been there you're laughing right now, but if you haven't just keep it in mind for the next time you go. One of the best cups of coffee and breakfast you can have in Chicago, my favorite. Everytime I bring a new person to Uncommon Ground, the first thing they say is "Hey that guy looks just like Seth Green." I find it very funny that not a single person has failed to make that comment.
Wasn't Max Headroom great?
Just a lot of joy there. What's the new Max Headroom?
This may seem overly cruel.
But the guys that work at the Walgreens on Broadway and Ridge in Edgewater are all retarded. I've never seen such a collection of misfits in my life. I know I shouldn't say that, but I'm always surprised at the next guy to wait on me. And the next customer in front of me in line to do that bit where they take a ridiculously long time. Will it be the guy who has to go back to get something he forgot? The counting pennies guy? The couple who can't find the coupon in the flyer and must search for it at the counter? Nothing's for certain at the Wal except that the guy at the counter just might be legitimately retarded. Or look like John Bolton.
What I learned in the Red Eye today
Okay, I'm going to guess what the headline on the Red Eye is about. All I can read is "Ace Closed." So I'm assuming the Ace awards (the award for cable excellence) were last night and somebody won. But wait, do the Ace awards still exist? Why would the Red Eye report the Ace awards? Don't cable shows win Emmy's now? Allright, next line: "Good looks only get 'idol' so far...", OH, it was about American Idol, thanks for playing Adam. That's right, it's the Red Eye, of course it was about American Idol. I lose. Wait, no, not me...what is it, oh yeah, society, society loses.
The sub-heading after that is "who in the heck picked Pickler?" I don't know the answer to that. Some fucking asshole?
I wrote this entire blog between Addison and Belmont...yep, that bad.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Robin Williams? I don't know, not ringing a bell, what would I know him from?
Mega S to the H to the O to the U to the T OUT for Otisburg from the Stippster over at Movie Poop Shoot, Chris is quite the supporter and gives you the inside look at the trailer for RV this week. I'd rather have a rusty barb-wire wound pissed on by Mickey Rourke than go see that. Do you remember when you didn't have to be convinced or begged to see a Robin Williams movie? He's worse than bad, he's just irrelevant.
Happy Birthday Sandy
Fun Facts:
Sandy recognized me as someone he wanted to know when I came to our first Second City class in a Boba Fett t-shirt. I recognized Sandy as someone I wanted to know when he talked about his outside-class writing. I asked Sandy to be in a short film of mine a month later, his line is "Guys, keep it down." I asked Sandy and Kate if they would like to write together with me and Ike Barinholtz in the breezeway of what is now Corcorans across from Second City in October of 1998. The Cafe Ashie writing sessions took place in Sandy and his roommate Joel Friend's dining room on Malden later that year. We wrote Crazy Pants and Darth in Sandy's living room on Addison, where we also watched the premiere of Upright Citizens Brigade and the Bulls win their fifth championship. For Sandy's birthday in 1999, Justin, John, Stephe and myself staged an outrageous piece of performance art in front of the window of an italian restaurant on Broadway where he and Kate were dining. Sandy likes the movie Robot Jox. Tomorrow night I will perform with Sandy for somewhere in the range of the 600th time in a place very similar to Cafe Ashie. Sandy plays a good retard and has an obsession with the phrase "blood engorged."
Happy Birthday SM,
AW
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
The Ninteties Sucked
I had intended to write at The Grind and then found myself sucked into the basement at the Darktower Comic Book Store in Lincoln Square, 4612 N Lincoln Ave. They have a great sale going on until the end of the month. Pretty much everything is half off including brand new trade-paperbacks, and their basement formerly filled with dollar comics is now filled with fifty cent comics, giving me the opportunity to fill the holes in my Crystar, Starriors, Sectaurs and M.A.S.K. collections
Ah, 80's toy tie-in comics.
While I was down in the basement for five hours something dawned on me. THE NINETIES SUCKED.
For the uninitiated the history of comics in the nineties was written by some real dopes. There were these five artists at Marvel that caused huge spikes in sales, they demanded some extra money for, you know, making Marvel money and were told to go fuck. So they all left at the same time, telling Marvel to go fuck, and formed Image comics. Which would bring Marvel bankruptcy and mankind Martin Sheen's performance in Spawn.
There way only one teensy problem, beyond drawing they were limited creatively
bordering on sucking. At Marvel the heavy lifting had been done for them, giving them little characters like Wolverine and Spider-Man to draw. They...hadn't thought of that. So they proceeded to create hundreds of the most boring characters
few of them discernable from one another besides weapon choice.
Just big huge things with no personality or backstory, just...names.
They all had different names, and big tits and they all fought, and jumped around a lot, and screamed showing all their teeth.
Spina-Bifida POWER!
And they sold like motherfuckers, it was a huge confidence game that lasted for a couple years as the comics were bought up by overexcited teens who loved big tits and guns in their oooooh spooky dark-themed comics and were too dumb to realize that these comics absolutely BLEW!. They were all five pages of people jumping then a preview of some new guy with a TOTALLY NEW NAME available next month.
And the worst part is, Marvel tried to emulate their model, making some of the least memorable Marvel comics in history, with Image emulating shitty character like Rage
(ooooh) and Darkhawk
and Fuckface and Rapist.
All of them available for fifty cents in the basement of the Dark Tower. Just the worst. I was completely out of comics but got a job at this comic book store in Oxford, which I juggled with my video store job because I was the next Kevin Smith. So I have this weird affinity for this shit era. I buy them for fifty cents and just laugh. As a lifelong fan of shitty movies and shitty comics, I must say, for fifty cents Image made the BEST shitty comics
Ah, 80's toy tie-in comics.
While I was down in the basement for five hours something dawned on me. THE NINETIES SUCKED.
For the uninitiated the history of comics in the nineties was written by some real dopes. There were these five artists at Marvel that caused huge spikes in sales, they demanded some extra money for, you know, making Marvel money and were told to go fuck. So they all left at the same time, telling Marvel to go fuck, and formed Image comics. Which would bring Marvel bankruptcy and mankind Martin Sheen's performance in Spawn.
There way only one teensy problem, beyond drawing they were limited creatively
bordering on sucking. At Marvel the heavy lifting had been done for them, giving them little characters like Wolverine and Spider-Man to draw. They...hadn't thought of that. So they proceeded to create hundreds of the most boring characters
few of them discernable from one another besides weapon choice.
Just big huge things with no personality or backstory, just...names.
They all had different names, and big tits and they all fought, and jumped around a lot, and screamed showing all their teeth.
Spina-Bifida POWER!
And they sold like motherfuckers, it was a huge confidence game that lasted for a couple years as the comics were bought up by overexcited teens who loved big tits and guns in their oooooh spooky dark-themed comics and were too dumb to realize that these comics absolutely BLEW!. They were all five pages of people jumping then a preview of some new guy with a TOTALLY NEW NAME available next month.
And the worst part is, Marvel tried to emulate their model, making some of the least memorable Marvel comics in history, with Image emulating shitty character like Rage
(ooooh) and Darkhawk
and Fuckface and Rapist.
All of them available for fifty cents in the basement of the Dark Tower. Just the worst. I was completely out of comics but got a job at this comic book store in Oxford, which I juggled with my video store job because I was the next Kevin Smith. So I have this weird affinity for this shit era. I buy them for fifty cents and just laugh. As a lifelong fan of shitty movies and shitty comics, I must say, for fifty cents Image made the BEST shitty comics
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