Thursday, May 18, 2006

Dick Parlors

I'm collecting a list of Dick Parlors. I was in the Dick Parlor known as The Corner Bakery ironically on the corner of Bakery St., no, corner of Wacker & Randolph, my bad, no irony. Corner Bakery, that's so lame. It's so..., like "Country Kitchen," or "Cracker Barrell" or "Pa's Whittlin' Hole." Corner Bakery.

Anyway, the point is, I went into there twice in a week and the people in there are dicks! It's a Dick Parlor. Now, of course you'll walk into a place and have the guy helping you be a dick, but maybe the people around that dick are smiling or talking to one another, so it's just one dick, not a dick parlor. This was a Dick Parlor. Just everybody was a dick, BOTH DAYS, DOUBLE-BLIND. Actually I'm not sure that's what double-blind means, and is it double-blind or double-bind?

So then I got into the Post Office in the Thompson center two times in a week and realized, THAT's a Dick Parlor too! Everybody, no matter who's working, total dick.

So I'm starting a list of Dick Parlors, feel free to list them below and I'll post that a new Dick Parlor has been discovered and warn all of Otisburg through our public address system, this blog.

The Ed Debevic's, The Weiner's Circle and every Potbelly's don't count. Debevics is doing a bit, The Weiner Circle may be doing a bit but nobody cares, and Potbelly's, well is that a bit? You ever walk into a place where everyone's really shitty and you think "Are they doing the Ed Debevics bit or are they just assholes?"

adw

4 comments:

Fred Mowery said...

Yes! I love this. Here's a couple to start:

UHAUL on Broadway near Lakeview. Total jags.
REZAs on Clark. Waiters don't give a damn about you. I want to tip the 20%, but damnit, I have principals. Ask Roommate Stephe about that one.
Select Video on Clark. Please, all I want is to rent the movie - no prissy attitude.
That one place we bought $17 dollar glasses of Scotch after seeing Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas back in 1998.

Justin K. said...

Hotel W. Whole Foods. Tiffanys. Comedy Clubs. The Check N Cash.

Fred Mowery said...

5:35 METRA train departing to Kenosha, making all stops.
L&L Tavern

Fuzzy said...

Potbelly? Really? Everybody at our Potbelly is cheerful it's scary.

Anyway, the Post Office at Broadway and Lawrence. The Rail (Damen and Lawrence).