Does Anybody Check Schadenfreude.net During Christmas Break?

That's always the question when I wake up at noon two days after Christmas and feel the pull of playing videogames or posting to Schadenfreude.net.

From Shithole to Home

For the first time I feel like I've earned a break. The last two months has defined "crazy" and I've been unbelievably stressed at points. Last Tuesday I moved in with Ryan Anglin, who's gone for two weeks. So I spent a few nights in Hollywood, drinking at Birds, eating breakfast at the 101 cafe. That part was fun, as was finally being close to work on my commute. But I realized why Bart & Martha choose to live ten miles away from Hollywood. It's a fucking dump. And most people don't get the view I do of it. Most people drive. I walk a half-mile past bums, crazy people, and people living in old Winstar camper vans on the side of the street to wait for a bus on Santa Monica boulevard next to every prostitute and junky who had a good night that's just coming to a close. Although it's been said many times many ways, Hollywood is a dump. Chicago really feels like it's paved with Gold right now. For God's sakes there's a homeless woman camping out in front of the LenCrafters in Culver City who stared at a half-a-Fig-Newton in her hand for an entire day, AN ENTIRE DAY! And also, the tolerance for the homeless is astounding, she slept in front of the Lens Crafters for three days and was never asked to move. I mean, that's very nice and all, but where else would a storeowner let a homeless person sleep in front of their store and have their customers trip over them for three days.

What Santa Got Me

But we're not here to talk about homeless people in L.A., we're here to talk about Christmas, and the day or two three or four days after known as videogame season. Videogame season runs December 25th to Sometime in March where, without fail, I just kind of stop playing in favor of other projects. This year videogame season will only last a few days because I don't think I'm taking my Playstation 2 back to L.A. but perhaps this will extend the season.

I got The Steve McQueen Collection (Bullitt, Tom Horn, The Getaway, Papillon) on DVD, I tend to be a big fan of the big Steve. The first Season of SNL, which is amazing, what an educational tool that is. And for the videogames I got Marvel Superheroes Ultimate Alliance, and The Warriors from my sister, we have a bit of a Warriors bond. I get to pretend I'm Captain America and a member of The Warriors? Color me happy. The best is when Captain America throws his shield in an open doorway and it ricochets and clears the room before you enter. That and you can actually pull the old comic book move of throwing your shield and then beating a bad guy with your fists, only to have the shield smack him in the back. That's right, I'm a superhero, bitch. It's pretty much the best game of all time (spoken like Napoleon Dynamite). You start off with the main fifteen heroes, Cap, Spidey, Thor, The Fantastic Four, and then you unlock more obscure ones, like...MOON KNIGHT, yes I'm definitely not giving this game up until I play Moon Knight. I've always been a big fan of the obscure heroes and villains, like last night I fought Tiger Shark, I thought that was a very nice obscure villain to fight.

I also got a very nice pair of dress shoes, and some trail shoes, which should come in handy walking uphill both ways in L.A. Shoes don't make very good blog topics thougth (sorry Mom)

I Wish You A Sasha and The Noob-mis

Oh, and I got one other thing that is friggin hilarious. A year ago Sasha and the Noob had me on their show. I had just come home from Christmas and literally drove my car to CAN TV to be on the show from Kentucky. Since I'd come home from Christmas, I had lots of gifts as props. I had gotten some decorative soaps from friend of the family, Leanne, who actually makes soaps in her spare time. I had popcorn balls from Mom, and Santa had given me some socks. So Steve, Paul, and I made all of them bits in the show starting with Sasha trying to eat an entire popcorn ball at once and ended up laughing with this big mouthful of popcorn ball. We then did the Annual Holiday Exchanging of The Decorative Soaps, which was just absurd, and had the Christmas changing of the socks. Hilariously, during Sandy's recent appearance someone called in and asked if they'd be changing their socks, and in Kate's recent appearance she brought popcorn balls in homage, Sasha seemed to find the non-Mom-made popcorn balls unpleasant, which brought a smile to my Mom as we watched it in iTunes (subscribe to their podcast).

Also in that show Sasha played a game in which The Noob lost his bowl of Tasty Peas which was buried under one of four piles of Elephant Poo. For Christmas Leanne, oh she of the Decorative Soaps, made me a sample can of Tasty Peas with Sasha and the Noob featured. HOW FUNNY.





If you haven't gone to TalkinFunny.com and gotten addicted to Sasha & The Noob I don't know how many more absurd things I must describe. You see it's all of the above hosted by two foreigners from some Latvian country taking calls from the losers who are watching Cable Access. Oh, and Noob doesn't talk because when he was a kid he saw his Father kill his Mother.

Now if you'll excuse Atlantis is all fucked up and the only people who can save it are Captain America, Thor, The Thing, and Wolverine.