Looks like the new 'X-Men' is enjoying its moment in the box office sun -
but it's merely a prelude to THE big superhero movie of the summer. If
you're a regular reader of this particular blog, you have no question as to
which one I'm referring to. Look up in the sky - or, on your nearest
Internet preview movie site - it's a bird, it's a plane, it's . . .
Ah, you know the routine.
This new Superman movie's getting a lot of excited advance buzz, but I don't
know . . .
Hey, don't get me wrong - I still remember the thrill I had, as a little
kid, when the first Superman movie came out. I was breathless with
excitement to go see it, and absolutely enraptured throughout its running
time. The friggin' dude is flying! No, Mom, you don't understand - he's
actually FLYING! To actually see a superhero in all his glory on the big
screen, brought to life through the wonders of modern technology, was
absolutely invigorating.
But you know, I've seen all that now, again and again, and the thrill has
worn off. Modern movies have removed the excitement by making all things
possible. We've become immune to the fantastic, because it's a simple part
of the basic Hollywood toolbox now. You want to show a dude flying? No
problem, give me a real challenge. How about a completely artificial
creature, made of nothing but digital technology and interacting with humans
onscreen? Yesterday's news. Every step of the way leads us down the road to
less and less excitement at the results. When everything's extraordinary,
nothing is. And When you have an entire SEASON of movies that are ALL
designed to blow you away - then how many of them actually can? More and
more, I'm led to an assessment about whatever the new blockbuster is, that
runs thus: "It was totally incredible - in all the usual ways" (or else, "It
was fresh and exciting - in a way that was totally predictable").
Do I sound hopelessly jaded and out of step? Maybe I am, I don't know. But
certainly, this new Superman movie carries no special charge for me, no
breathless anticipation - because what is it going to show me I haven't seen
before? He's going to fly, he's going to run fast, and see through shit with
his x-ray vision, maybe melt a few things; it looks like Kevin Spacey's
going to get to bubble and bluster in Gene Hackman-esque fashion, and I hear
tell even Marlon Brando's going to make an appearance from beyond the grave
(but hasn't he been doing that ever since 'Apocalypse Now'?). So what we've
got here, essentially, is the makings of a brand spanking new, cutting-edge,
all-CGI revisitation of 1978.
Maybe it's also that I'm aware that my eight-year old awe and glee at the
original Superman represented a triumph of gee-whiz-bangism over my own
personal taste. Put another way: I never was a big fan of Superman growing
up. He was the one major superhero I didn't have in my action figure
collection, and I don't recall reading too many of the comic books. He
always seemed to me a bit, well, . . . boring. He's got the deck perpetually
stacked in his favor, there's nothing he can't do, ordinary mortals are no
match for him - just not a whole lot of conflict or excitement there, that I
could see. I mean, you really had to *contrive* ways to make Superman
stories interesting or fresh. (Maybe in that way he actually is the perfect
embodiment of the modern blockbuster: "Ok, there's nothing we can't do, no
place on the Earth we can't take you, no creature we can't fathom out of
thin air (er, pixels) - we are . . . INVULNERABLE!")
Personally, I think if you're going to revive Superman the best thing you
could do is scuff him up a bit, remove some of his luster, add some dark,
menacing edges to him. It's probably always been seen as too risky to do
that because, after all, if you make 'dark' a character who could
essentially destroy the Earth if he wanted to, then the consequences can be
pretty dire. But maybe there could be something compelling about how
absolutely 'good' this character must be: what might it be like to truly
explore the psychology of a guy who knew - who absolutely KNEW! - he could
wipe out everybody in one blow if he wanted to?
I'm reminded here of a mock-speculative piece once written by sci-fi writer
Larry Niven, titled "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" - where he postulated
that sexual relations between Superman and Lois Lane (or, indeed, any female
Earthling) would be patently impossible by the sheer fact that Kal-El's
super strength would cause his, um, load to blow through her like a shotgun
at the moment of climax. Imagine growing into adulthood knowing you were
capable of THAT, huh? There's the interesting story waiting to be told.
Just think of it: sixteen year old Clark Kent, out for a night on the town
in Smallville, maybe he's just taken Lana Lane to the drive-in, and they're
now parked out somewhere in the woods off county road whatever. Oh, he knows
he shouldn't be touching her this way, he's been warned of sin and
temptation by his righteous, God-fearing parents (who are *particularly*
interested in raising Clark in an ultra-strict, Bible belt sort of way
because they know only too well the tornado unleashable inside if he were
ever to go 'bad') . . . but you know, it feels so good, and she's so soft,
and pliable, and willing, and - hey! What the fuck just happened?! I was
only trying to feel around a little bit inside her - with, you know, "little
Kal" - and goddamnit! I just blew the top of her head clean off! Fuck, my
parents were right, this ain't no shit to be messing around with. I'm bad,
bad, bad -- and when I deviate from the path of what Mom, and Jesus, and
Reverend Brown tell me is right . . . PEOPLE GET HURT!
So what am I saying? Superman can be seen, and drawn, as the ultimate
Republican - feverishly sublimating his dark, libidinous urges into a desire
to dominate, to kick ass, to save the world and solve all its problems -
whether the world wants him to or not. Denied the normal routes of intimacy
and fellowship with those around him, he gets off instead on his status as
protector, and torch-bearer for all that is righteous, and holy, and good.
You could paint a disturbing picture of a Superman not all that
fundamentally different from the Man of Steel we've currently got in the
White House, or populating the ranks of the PTL and 700 Club - who, after
all, stand staunchly behind their own version of 'Truth, Justice, and the
American Way' in the face of all challenges and reprisals.
Hmm . . . I actually kind of like this. Must explore further. Bryan Singer
can have his vision of the Man of Steel, I'll have mine. Catch you next
week.
-Roommate Stephe
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