You Don't Have to be Gay to Love Judy Garland
Recently I was watching a documentary on PBS called Judy Garland: By Myself It was a touching retrospective on a young woman with wide eyes who was slowly destroyed by the Hollywood system and a crippling addiction to pills and eventually took her own life. They had obtained transcripts from an autobiography she was intending on writing before her life was cut tragically short, and they interspersed Judy's own words (narrated by another woman) throughout the documentary. It was a very moving portrayal of an American Icon.
And while I was watching this, for the first time in my life I realized that you didn't have to be a gay man who loves show tunes to appreciate Judy Garland. Personally, I hate show tunes. I hate musicals for that matter. I don't even much care for that rainbow song that seems so often connected with her. But rather, as I watched it, I realized to myself, "Wow!" I would have loved to fuck Judy Garland!
Let's face it, she was a hottie when she was younger. Oh sure, maybe not in a Rita Hayworth "Gilda" way, but more in that "innocent young thing who needs to be gently but firmly taught the business end of a cock" way. And from way I've read it, she dug older men anyway so it would have been a match made in heaven.
For the women: Before you get all self-righteous and give it that "Ewww!! This guy's so creepy!!" let me just tell you something. There isn't a guy out there who wouldn't fuck a hot, big-titted 17 year old if they had the chance (just like Jerry Seinfeld). Not date, fuck. Oh, they'll tell you to your face, "Naw baby. That's too young. I like a more mature woman that I can have a conversation with. Someone in their early thirties at least." Hahaha. Bullshit!
This whole "18 is the legal age" thing is purely arbitrary. We needed an age, so we picked one. I'm not talking twelve, I'm talking about 17 - practically old enough to die for her country. I figure, if she's old enough to drive herself home from my place, she's old enough to handle what goes on inside. And more to that point, if she's clever enough to wrangle her way out of the manacles, she's clever enough to know whether or not she should have "helped me find my kitty."
But seriously, Judy was 17 when she made Wizard of Oz. You know how old 17 is? That's the hot cheerleader in your senior year of high school and who's going to say SHE didn't deserve a good working over? If Judy Garland hadn't become Judy Garland: America's Sweetheart and she had gone to your high school, you'd probably still spank it every once in a while thinking about that hot Frances Gumm who sat in front of you in American History.
You know they had to tape her breasts down when they were making the movie because the studio thought they were too big?
Damn...
-=-Jack-=-
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