Riding The Bus 7

I only have a few minutes because I'm finishing up a new draft of Alderman for tonight's meeting. We've revised the 160 page draft and are down to 130 pages, the target is 110. The movie is being pitched this week to financiers and this draft will be headed to a lot of places when we lock script on Monday. Very exciting, so I've got to hop on it. But I had a funny interaction last night that I thought I'd throw out there.

After last night's script meeting I walked to the Blockbuster on Lawrence to drop off my copy of The Ringer with my buddy from L.A. Johnny Knoxville. On my way back I was very hungry and passed the Wendy's on Lawrence. The doors weren't open but as the sign out front bragged they were open until 2.

So I walked up to the drive-up window. Anyone ever try this? They won't let you order food and give them money for it, you have to have a car. I don't get this and tried to get into a Larry David conversation with the woman in the window but she was having none of it because I wasn't in a car.

I'm the same guy who's eligible to purchase food if I were in a car, but I'm not in a car. I asked her if I had ordered back at the speaker thing and she didn't realize I wasn't in a car and made the food would she then take it away when she saw me walk up? If I got someone in a car to order for me would they get in trouble for giving me the food after they'd gotten it in their car? Like some high school beer drive-through transaction? Could we skip the middle-man on the beer drive-through transaction and just have her give me the food?

No. You have to be in a car to give money to the Wendy's corporation after 8. That just seems weird to me.

Anyone ever seen the Curb Your Enthusiasm Episode "Wandering Bear" where he buys the ointment for Cheryl's vagina because he put the long-lasting condom on inside out and numbed Cheryl then got in trouble for talking to the Native American gardner about her Vagina? My favorite Curb conversation is in that episode.

Hey, Wandering Bear, let me ask you a question. You're a shaman of sorts. You know all about plants and herbs and you're kind of a medicine man in a way. Last night...I put a condom on inside-out. And my wife's vagina is completely numb. Do you know of any herbal remedy that might work for her?

Wandering Bear looks to the sky. The rhythm of a Native drum is heard in the distance.

Hmm...give me a pencil and paper.

Well, I have a pen.

Same thing.

Well, yeah, but you said pencil, so I just thought I'd mention that I have a pen.

They both perform the same function.

That's true. A pencil also has an eraser. You can make a mistake, you can erase. So that's a slight difference. Some people are very specific about it.

One writes, the other writes.

...But you did say pencil.